Backing Union Jack

It's about celebration - showing outside that you are happy about what's inside. Like wearing your heart on your sleeve, writes Saumya Balsari.

Auntyji and Uncleji returned from a holiday in Los Angeles a few days ago. Having been away, they were surprised to learn from Mrs. Arora shopping for white radish at Vee-Cee-Bee-Jay Mart, that the newspapers had reported that Gordon Brown was apparently planning to urge citizens to fly the British flag in every garden. Distracted by the sight of dewy bunches of coriander and Mrs. Chauhan's flashing diamonds; Mrs. Arora was understandably loath to provide details. She merely mumbled that the Chancellor would call upon the British people to embrace the Union flag and plant it in the garden for the world to see.

As they moved away to the lentils aisle, Auntyji was bewildered. She was not accustomed to embracing anyone or anything, and indeed, could not remember the last time she had done so of her own volition. How was she to start now? As for planting, how would it grow?

"No, no, you've got it wrong! It's about strong national identity," explained Uncleji impatiently. "Don't you remember how large the American flag was at Immigration at L.A. airport? And remember the pickup trucks of surfers at Carlsbad State Beach? Even the trucks fluttered the Stars and Stripes in the breeze, standing tall among the palms and cycads and giant ferns."

"But I don't understand - we already have a strong national identity," insisted Auntyji. "We are all sailing in the same British boat."

"It's about celebration - showing outside that you are happy about what's on the inside. Like wearing your heart on your sleeve."

Uncleji proceeded to remind Auntyji about Charlie Wu. Charlie Wu was their nephew's Chinese American neighbour in an exclusive gated development in the Pacific paradise of La Jolla. Every Fourth of July, Wu hung a flag from every window of his house. That was a lot of flags. At Christmas, Wu's snowman held the American flag instead of a pipe on the front lawn and an illuminated Santa flew the flag from his sleigh on top of the roof.

"I think we'll need more than one flag," said Uncleji, and began to count. "One for the front lawn and one for the back garden. The one in the front should be bigger than the one in the back. And one for the car. Maybe a senior citizen lapel badge, as well?" Spotting Mrs. Lakdawala in the pickles aisle, he made a hasty exit before she collared them for the Tupperware demonstration in her home.

"But I already know what it means to feel British without the flag," protested Auntyji, mentally counting the pennies. "One should be enough to show we are one."

(Saumya Balsari is the author of the comic novel 'The Cambridge Curry Club', and wrote a play for Kali Theatre Company's Futures last year. She has worked as a freelance journalist in London, and is currently writing a second novel.)