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Coming, alien nations

If you spot something green with three heads on your balcony, take it along to our new leader.

india Updated: Sep 27, 2010 23:26 IST
Hindustan Times

All those who have been going about asking, ‘Is there anybody out there?’ and scanning the heavens for an answer may get one now. For up there, along with satellites, planets and other stellar objects, someone could well be looking in our direction asking pretty much the same thing. Or so the United Nations would have us believe. And since they are there, it is but natural that they will in the near future dial Earth to make their presence official. So the UN — the big daddy of such bilateral/multilateral meetings — has decided to be ready in case such an event happens. Its Office for Outer Space Affairs (OFOSA) has appointed Malaysian astrophysicist Mazlan Othman to be the ‘’take me to your leader” person.

Now, the UN is not the only organisation that’s trying to entice the aliens. Arès, near Bordeaux, France, has built the country’s only council-funded UFO landing pad to try and attract Martians. After waiting for 34 years, on September 3, it received its Martian craft at the triangular ‘UFOport’ — made by a local artist. A plaque at the UFOport reads: “Reserved for voyagers of the universe.”

So if you ever sport some alien lurking in your neighbourhood and looking lost, you know who to take it to. Either direct it to Arès or Vienna, where OFOSA is based. In case it stays put at the first place of contact, your backyard, then the onus will be on you to e-mail, call and fax Ms Othman’s office. Till help arrives, keep the guest busy and keep its mode of transport in your garage. Don’t look so hassled, though. Experts have said that the aliens are most likely to take a proper appointment first via radio or light signals before descending on us. But the sad part is that no matter how much we try to entice the aliens, they don’t seem to be game. Or maybe they’re waiting for us to reach them first and say, “Take us to your leader.”

First Published: Sep 27, 2010 23:24 IST