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Everybody has a past: Cyrus Broacha

Cyrus Broacha solves your relationship queries in this column.

india Updated: Nov 26, 2012 13:20 IST
Cyrus Broacha

I am 15 and in love with a girl of my age, from school. Recently, she found out ahow I feel. Since then, she has stopped talking to me. Even when we bump into each other, she ignores me. Her friend told me that she is angry because all her friends know about this, and she is concerned about her rapport with them. What do I do? Please help.
—Kartik Mirji
Kartik, when I was 12 years old, my cousin Ashish invited his friends to see me naked in the shower. This led to a case of social embarrassment. Although why his friends were embarrassed by my nakedness, I never understood. Your friend has just gone through something similar. She is obviously shy. So now is the worst time to press your point. The gossip is having a bad effect. You need to do what the government does after every wave of inflation i.e. follow with a cool down period. After this you can try again. But remember Friedrich Nietzsche called it a ‘private’ life because you need to keep it private.

I am 19 and in love with a girl who has a past, and is unable to get over it. She isn’t letting me into her life. Please help me or else I will have to call the Scottish police.
—Halkat Panipat
Mr Halkat , firstly, are you going to call the Scottish police or the Bombay Scottish police? I must tell you both their performances are remarkably different. What do you mean by past? Everybody has a past. You, me, Prabhudheva, the Czech Republic... In fact, all humans can do nothing but accept their past, present and future, just like insects need to make do with a head, a thorax and an abdomen. Obviously yours is a problem of trust. Until you trust her, please don’t bother her. Henry VIII didn’t believe in trust and look what happened to his wives.

I am a 21-year-old girl and I have been in a relationship with a guy of the same age for the last two years. His family has accepted me, but my parents don’t approve of him. The problem is that I am studying law, and he failed his HSC exam. I am trying to convince my family by telling them that he’s a graduate. But they don’t listen. Nowadays, he says his ears hurt when we talk. I don’t know what to do anymore, should I break up with him?
MJS, from your entire cache of problems, the biggest worry seems to be his ear ache. You see if his ear aches now, imagine how much they will pain him after 10 years of marriage.. Now if I were your mother, (which is not as strange as it may first seem), I would worry about his job potential. But if you believe in him, the problems will soon cease to be. However, that damn ear ache still bothers me — sort that out first, please.

I’m a 31-year-old teacher. Lately, I’ve found out that an ex-student has a crush on me. I tried to make her understrand that I’m eight years older and also happen to be her ex teacher. But she doesn’t understand. She has deliberately befriended my sister, and drops by my place every Saturday evening. Should I tell her parents?
— AS
AS, why is this a problem for you? If you don’t like this girl, avoid her! I mean really, you’re the teacher, you’re supposed to have these answers. It’s fairly simple, if we know someone likes us and we are uncomfortable with that, we avoid him or her. Just like Hitler tried to avoid Mussolini three times. Or is it that you do have a latent wish regarding her, that you’re not dealing with?

Just write to Cncle Cy at cyrus@hindustantimes.com

And I’ll give you some relief… err… that is, provided, I'm not doing a headstand at the time