'I cannot concentrate'

I don't feel motivated to do my work although when I joined the course I was really interested..."Submit your query

I don't feel motivated to do my work although when I joined this I was really interested to do this. I also loose my focus as well as oncentration very easily. Please help me.
Sex: M
Age: 27
You seem to be thinking and living in the future and past more than you do for the moment. We often feel the way you do when we fail to make short term goals. We either chase long term goals or reminisce about the past. Living in the presentis a skill. You can develop this. The sense of being rooted and focussed does not arise out of nowhere. It is a sort of self-instruction in which we have to train ourselves. It is possible. Remember,it is all about cleansing the internal environment. Shake off ther clutter. Start afresh. Take one thing at a time. If you fail in the beginning try again as all skills take some time to develop.

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I had a 4-year relationship. The guy was very short tempered. At times he hit me physically and he has no respect for me. Later on even I turned very rude towards him and finally I called it off as I was not feeling secure about my future. Now my parents are finding a match for me and that guy is convincing me as he loves me very much and that he has changed now. I too was very much involved. Now I'm in a dilemma. Please guide me as I even feel guilty about my past. I don't want to be disloyal to my future partner nor am I m sure I want to turn back. Please help me out. Its very urgent.
Sex: F
Age: 25
You tell me that you have broken off. What I sense is that you did not tie all the loose ends before snapping the ties. The guilt is arising because of that. Your mail also informs me that you need to develop better coping styles and better interpersonal skills.

You seem to be apprehensive only because you are finding yourself not quite ready to take the test of relationshops again. Take some time. Resolve your emotions. Introspect. Do not shy away from accepting your mistakes. Your maturity will evolve only when you clear your side of confusion. Stop the blame game. It is the biggest hurdle in our maturing process.

Mam, 1 guy 5 years senior than me cheated on me and sodomised. He trained me how to masterbate each other & self. Now i got to this bad habit. My penis looks weak and not straight. Can u help me pleez
Sex: M
Age: 15
There is no research finding which suggests that masterbation gives rise to distorted penis. As far as the guilt associated with it goes, yes, it is true that masturbation does give rise to guilt feelings. But throw off the guilt feeling. There is nothing wrong in masturbating.

Secondly, don't blame your friend solely for what happened. You are equally responsible. Mature now. Learn to live healthily. Expand your horizons. Forgive yourself forwhatever happened. Start afresh. Life is all about marching ahead, becoming wiser and smarter along the way.


Our expert Seema Sharma is a Clinical Psychologist with a degree in Medical & Social Psychology from National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences, Bangalore. She has been running a psychotherapy clinic named 'SAMADHAN' in Meerut dealing specifically with the cases of psychotherapy and psychodiagnostics since 1991.

You can contact her on the following numbers:
(O) 0121 - 2763441, 2769984-85, (R) 0121 - 2760341)