'I get lost during sex!'
1. I'm only 18 and had gotten pregnant at 17! I am living with the father of the baby and we're doing great with each other except for one thing and that is sex. For some weird reason, when I have sex with him, I feel like I don't know what to do or you can say I don't know the tricks. I still feel insecure about my body. The other day, we had sex but I wasn't really into it. I didn't even get wet. I am on birth control pill. I am really starting to feel like I don't know how to have sex! I really need help or some kind of words of advice from a professional. And when we do have sex, I'll complain while we're having sex that I don't know how to do it and he'll say, "just do it, its just sex." But I really feel like I'm lost. Please help me.
Depression taking a toll
2. I am a depression patient from last three years. I am on medication that I want to quit. But the issue is that I really get scared when I stop taking my pills. What should I do?
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'In love with a married woman'
1. I am a 30-year-old unmarried guy living alone in the US. Recently, I got involved with a married woman and now the emotions are very high on both sides. The issue is she has kids and she does not want to opt for divorce although I have told her that I'll marry her if she takes the "step" but whenever we try to cut contact with each other the restlessness and longing for each other increases. We both know that cannot go on forever but right now it seems that being without each other is tough. Please let me know that if we go to a psychiatrist, would that help in controlling our emotions or is there any other solution that can help? Please suggest.
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: Counsellors including psychiatrists do not have ready-made formulas for reducing the suffering caused by one's mistakes. One has to bear the consequences of one's actions and live with them. Well, you have been used as a toy boy and you have had good time too. You better realize that such good times do not last forever and one has to move on with life. You can always hop back to India, get married to a homely Indian girl in typical Indian style of arranged marriage and change your place of work in the US and live happily ever after.
No relation without sex?
2. I have been with the same woman for about eight years. We had amazing sex for the first five years. Then suddenly she started experiencing pain within 10 minutes of intercourse. I am well endowed but the pain did not happen during the first five years. When it first started happening, a hemorrhoid-like swelling would develop at the base of the vagina. She is unable to enjoy sex. This is definitely not normal. What should she do and what causes this? I love her but without regular sex I cannot stay in the relationship. Please suggest a way out.
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: It seems you are no longer attracted to her and are looking for an excuse to give up this relationship, based mainly on good sex and not commitment. A committed man would not harbour doubts about the physical complaint of pain by his partner and get her the best medical help without delay.
First Published: Apr 26, 2006 12:26 IST