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Loss of a mother

I have been guilty that I could do nothing to make my mother's last days more comfortable for her, physically and spiritually. Please help me. Veena Minocha advises.

india Updated: Mar 22, 2004 13:48 IST

This question and answer series will help to clear your inner-soul confusion on all matters that are demanding your spiritual attention. Spiritual teacher and Healer Ms Veena Minocha will endeavour to clear the 'fog within' by answering all questions sent to her

I have just lost my mother, a beautiful soul who lived the 86 years of her life with grace and dignity. She had been ailing for the past few years, yet she took this illness as God's Will, and never really complained, except when the pain became unbearable.

When I read your Healing Modalities articles recently, I started feeling a little guilty that I could do nothing to make her last days more comfortable for her, physically and spiritually. In fact, I have been deeply regretting not having learnt the knowledge, which could have helped her through this difficult time.

This thought keeps recurring and distracting me, so that I do not know how to deal with it. Please help me!

Anne Marie from Ireland:

Veena Minocha answers: Dear Anne-Marie, the passing away of a loved one, especially one as dear as a mother, is a nerve-wracking experience, as the anchor of life seems to have been torn away. Yet, it is through our most anguished moments that a certain kind of realization dawns upon us, in the form of wisdom attained through the experience.

The passing away of your mother compelled you to read articles on Spirituality, which in turn are enriching your life with new knowledge and wisdom. That is the gift which your mother has passed on to you, on leaving this Earth.

I would really recommend that you do not let her passing on go in vain. Learn from the way she patiently bore her illness, instead of feeling guilty that you could not help her. Guilt is one emotion that destroys the soul, surely you do not want that to happen?

When the time was right, that is after she passed on, you were given new knowledge, perhaps to be imbibed for helping others in the same situation. Use your newly awakened powers of spiritual healing to heal as many humans as are crying out for help. That is the reward that your mother would like you to get, and in her name go on to spread wellness, and health.

Instead of filling yourself with remorse, try and understand that if that knowledge was not available to you before this, it was for a purpose, as she had her own battles to fight and overcome. That was her personal karma, and you were not allowed to interfere with it. It was not meant to be that you should have healed her.

But the gift that you have now, of healing hands, is certainly what she would like to have bequeathed to you, after her death. Fill yourself with love and send your gratitude to your dear mother daily, so that her soul rests in peace, in the knowledge that her child is carrying on a beautiful spiritual mission!

First Published: Mar 22, 2004 13:48 IST