Old whine in new throttles

News is like a mugger. It has this nasty habit of lurking around in the shadows, and then jumping at you, knocking you off your feet, and stripping you of every paisa of your attention.

News is like a mugger. It has this nasty habit of lurking around in the shadows, and then jumping at you, knocking you off your feet, and stripping you of every paisa of your attention.

Last week was like that. Here we were strolling along desultorily, expecting nothing more dramatic than the changing density of monsoon clouds, when, suddenly, the skies broke and triumph, tragedy, scam, vendetta, reshuffle — and yes, 375 mm of actual rain in just 12 hours — fell upon us. Some of these had been on the horizon, but several of the biggies were a bolt from the blue. Like Dhirubhai Ambani’s stroke, the WorldCom blow and the CBI stalking Tehelka with the dubious determination of a poacher.

But who’s complaining? Contrary to prevalent rumour, both journalists and newspapers want to sink their fangs into something more substantial than Page Three frivolities where the only virgin is the olive oil, and the maximum dressing is on the salad.

Still, there is no denying that the trend of news as entertainment continues unabated.

Political farces are not always funny, but other genres can be legitimate lessees of the media multiplex, more so the less they wear. Take (willingly) the Brazil fans who bared their breasts with greater abandon than a let-it-all-hang-out participant in the Oprah show.
Or Czech out Slovakia’s stunner, Daniela Hantuchova, who has smashed out Kournikova as the the sexiest woman on the courts. She has the longest legs in the game, she’s legally blonde, and she has an arresting body. Unlike Anna, she also plays tennis.

Indeed sports was the most eye-riveting news of the week. It was a surfeit in itself: Wimbledon, cricket’s triangular series, and the unbeaten show (and goal)-stopper, soccer. The World Cup ends its irreverent, rumbustious journey today in Yokohma. A Bra-zillion fans will cheer, the other contender will count on eating sauerkraut not sour grapes, and, far away in England, Seaman will continue to despair over his lost chance to come up Klose and Arsenal.

However, there was a lot of action in other fields as well, and perhaps the simplest way to capsule the week’s news is to squeeze it into limericks.

HT Image

Spoilsport Italy said it was a ‘fix’,
Beckham’s team its wounded pride licks,
But in defeat Rustu didn’t get cold Turkey,
Nor did Korea get jerky,
And we viewers all got our free kicks.

Have the tennis giants all gone?
Agassi munches defeat on the lawn.
Safin went unheeded,
Ferrero fell to the unseeded.
For, Pete’s sake, give us back a Wimble Don.

Telecom ethics are now worse than porn,
Scams have left investors and partners forlorn.
How can they pay the bills
If their own hands are in the tills?
So should we now name that company World-Con?

Musical chairs again start to hum.
It’ll be new portfolios for the lucky some.
But in any reshuffle,
Some grief must muffle.
For politics is ‘Kabhi kursi, kabhi gam’.

It’s seen as a credibility gap,
When CBI gives Tehelka a rap.
Tarun brands the evidence ‘fallacious’,
The timing ‘malicious’.
So, which leopard’s the one in the trap?

Is the Prime Minister really not well?
Should we start ringing his political knell?
Should the state of his liver
Cause a national shiver?
Alas, Time alone will tell.

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Alec Smart said, “The BJP presidentship : From Jana to Mahajana?”