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Till Hell freezes over

This telling tale about Hell's "heat and light" displays gives us the highlights of the chilling prospect of all the world's souls landing up there!

india Updated: Mar 04, 2004 16:08 IST
PTI

Feel yourself inspired into Higher Realms of Consciousness with this section! The tales, poetry and inspirational tit-bits will provide the proverbial "Divine wind in our sails" on our journey through life's choppy seas! Surfers are invited to send in their contributions for this page toveenaminocha@hotmail.com

This telling tale about Hell's "heat and light" displays gives us the highlights of the chilling prospect of all the world's souls landing up there!

Though this story is given in a lighter vein, the essence not to be missed is that if we do carry on believing in the all powerfulness of only that religion that we profess, we will, 'sure as Hell exists", land up there in a bunch. Only to realize that Hell is no place for any religious practice!

The only way to avoid the Hellish path is to stay united and strong, peaceful and in love with all peoples.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect, the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true. Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over."

This student received the only 'A'!