Wife has a secret lover!
1. I recently found out that my wife has been secretly chatting with her old friend. Apparently, this guy had a crush on her and still feels strongly for her. He is married and has two kids. When I confronted my wife about the subject, she admitted that it was inappropriate and promised never to engage in such activity again. She convinced me that she loves me a lot and did this in a spur of moment without realizing its consequences and confessed that she had no feelings for this man. However, this whole incidence bothers me as I feel that my wife has violated family norms. I love her and don't want to break my family. How can I get over this issue?
In love with an older woman
2. I am a 22-year-old engineering graduate. I love my lecturer but she is married and is elder to me. However, at times I have noticed her giving attention to me. What should I do? Please guide.
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Is divorce the answer?
1. I am quite satisfied with my life. I am compatible with my husband, we make each other laugh and enjoy family activities with our daughter. However, my husband is abusive, both mentally and physically (sound clichéd) and my life is miserable due to this. Is all this normal in a relationship? He is so moody. One day he will be frustrated and will treat me badly to the hilt. We fight like this after every two days in front of my daughter. My husband cannot control his anger. Is it time to file for a divorce despite our good times and look out for a healthy relationship or should we stick it through for our daughter and keep trucking like I have been for five years? I know a divorce would be so tough on my daughter but I just can't see giving her brother or sister with this man. I have advised marriage counselling but my hubby says it doesn't work. I do love my husband very much so please help me out!
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: All I can say is that any person who cannot handle anger gets worse with age because a person is never able to accept it as a problem. Stressful, unhappy married relation of the parents is also disruptive for the personality development of the children. Another fact that I want to highlight is that you might not find a dream partner in the immediate future. Considering all these facts only a strong person who can live on her own should decide to move out of an abusive marriage. Do you think you are such a person?
Troubled with anal lump
2. I am 31-years-old. I am worried about a lump that I have close to my anus (rectum) for about five months now. It has usually been a painless lump, which has subsided from its initial size. But, it has slightly opened up at two places, and a sticky blood like fluid comes out of it. It stains my underwear and sometimes gets very uncomfortable. I have no problem in my stools. Is this hemorrhoid or a genital wart? I have not consulted a doctor and I am worried to death. It just doesn't go away. Please help.
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: You seem to be having hemorrhoids. I advise you should consult a surgeon for a final diagnosis and also its management.
First Published: Jan 18, 2006 17:56 IST