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HT Brunch Game Show: Who handles emotional outbursts better?
The actor who acknowledges the problem, the musician who wants to work on his anger, or the writer who prefers to be detached? Or you?
Tuheen Chakravorty, 35, Musician
What does an emotional breakdown feel like? Tuheen would easily get irritated or angry a few years ago and used to be destructive. “I would end up breaking things,” he says.
How do you calm down? “I would take some time alone, after which I could feel myself calm down,” he adds.
What works for you? “Counselling and medication. A combination of both worked for me well and helped me resolve my issues,” says Tuheen.
Your definition of emotional balance? “To be at a stage where I can reason with myself and be in control of what I am saying or doing when I’m angry,” he shares.
Vasavi Sinha, 31, Content writer
What does an emotional breakdown feel like? For Vasavi, it’s a swirl of emotions. “Like I’m drowning in a bottomless pit. It feels like my sadness or the fact that I’m hurting means nothing. I feel I’m too inconsequential,” she shares.
How do you calm down? “I tell myself that I’ve seen better days and those will come. Or that I’m stronger than the things weighing me down.”
What works for you? “I’ve tried counselling, which helped briefly. What works is to disengage and look at the situation from a third-person perspective. Not participating but letting things pan out,” she says.
Your definition of emotional balance? “The freedom to not feel so intensely whatever the emotion may be,” says Vasavi.
Saloni Shukla, 35, Actor and cinematographer
What does an emotional breakdown feel like? “When things get out of control, I can be a tad aggressive. Once, I locked myself in the bathroom as I was overwhelmed with the pressure of decision-making,” she says.
How do you calm down? “I wake my mother up and talk to her. She calms me down, rationalises with me and asks me to breathe deeply. Only then I can sleep.”
What works for you? “Counselling has helped. Talking to someone always helps me,” says Saloni.
Your definition of emotional balance? “I believe all emotions are natural and a sign that we are alive. The problem arises when you can’t control them. I’d like to control my anger,” she says.
And the winner is…
Vasavi Sinha
“Don’t take things personally”
Vasavi is using a technique - separating herself from the situation and observing it as objectively as possible, says Varkha Chulani, a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist at Lilavati Hospital, Mumbai. “Many times, emotional distress is the result of taking things personally, of attributing meanings to ‘self’ which don’t exist. Dispassionate appraisal helps to allow us to see problems for what they really are,” says Varkha. “Managing an emotional outburst is training oneself, to not take things personally. Philosophies of reality, self-acceptance, forgiveness and tolerance can go a long way in building emotional muscle. At the end of the day problems never end, they change. Stable are those who are able to go from problem to problem solution.”
From HT Brunch, May 23, 2021
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