The Brunch round-up: The week and how it made us feel

And not in a good way. Ulajh (2024) seems to have tripped over its own ambitions, which makes it a miss from the makers of Raazi (2018) and Talvar (2015). Janhvi Kapoor is better than this. So are Gulshan Devaiah and Rajesh Tailang, who seem underutilised. Plus, Kapoor’s character is supposed to be a senior IFS official. She should have known better than to fall into a honeytrap in her first foreign posting in the first place.

Hello, Ranbir Kapoor? This is the Indian public speaking. Please don’t answer any calls from Aditya Chopra. Apparently, he’s rebooting the Dhoom franchise and planning to put you in the lead role. We love you and all, Ranbir. But we’re not watching unless Uday Chopra comes back too. He brought the funnies and he’s funny IRL too. Make it happen.

Leave Moo Deng alone. Ever since the pygmy hippopotamus went viral, visitors have been crowding Thailand’s Khao Kheow Open Zoo in Si Racha. It’s got so bad, the zoo had to build an extra fence. Now, she’s adorable. But she’s a baby. Just let her be a hippo in peace. BTW, her name means Bouncy Pork. And she has siblings: Moo Toon (Stewed Pork) and Moo Waan (Sweet Pork). Ugh, the cuteness.

Lana Del Rey married alligator trainer Jeremy Dufrene recently. And from the memes and trolling, it seems she should have checked with fans on her personal-life choices. Why is anyone surprised, though? She’s always been non-dramatic and normcore. Her songs are about living and loving like a regular person. Who on Earth believes that rock stars are green flags, anyway?

Jason deCaires Taylor’s underwater installation in Canterbury has people heated up. The corpse-like installation is made of glass, steel, and LED lights, and references the iconic Ophelia painting by Sir John Everett Millais. Most people have missed the connection and think he’s mocking victims of drowning. (Cue stuffy voice) “Is no one here a man of culture?”

Bhumi Pednekar wore a Raw Mango sari, with a transparent breastplate featuring golden cobras poised to strike. Did it go down well with random Bollywood fans? Of course not. Do we love it. You bet! It’s giving Taylor Swift’s Reputation-era costumery. We’re tired of seeing actors being demure and mindful on the red carpet. More villain eras, please.

Wake up, babe. A new Mozart single just dropped. Researchers at the Leipzig municipal library in Germany have discovered a forgotten composition from the late 1760s, while they were cataloguing his works. It’s already gone viral. There will be mashups soon. RIP Wolfgang, you would have topped the Billboard charts.

Word on Diagon Alley is actor Gary Oldman, aka Sirius Black, is up to play the role of Dumbledore in the new HBO Harry Potter series. We’re not mad. Oldman is a fab actor. He already knows all the Hogwarts shortcuts. We didn’t get to see enough of Sirius in the movies and books. This way, at least he stays alive for a little longer. Older (real) fans get what they want. We have higher expecto-tions from this new series.

Taylor Dome married Jacob from Twilight. But could she secretly be Team Edward? In a recent Insta post, Dome says that Edward was her childhood crush. Lautner left a comment saying he’s used to being the second choice. Oops. We can’t all have Edward but Lautner could do with a little confidence boost around the next full moon.