3 small steps for building self-trust and gaining confidence

Oct 06, 2022 12:15 PM IST

Trusting yourself is one of the most helpful things you can do for yourself in your life. But how do you build self-trust? Check out three small and effective steps for building self-trust.

Building self-trust can be tricky if we’re trapped in a cycle of people-pleasing or codependency. If we’ve learned to prioritise other people first we might even have trouble separating their needs from ours. This makes following our intuition quite tricky. We might have learned not to trust ourselves if we’re used to other people invalidating us so we naturally might have more trust in other people. Because these are learnt behaviour patterns, it also means they can be unlearnt. You can increase your self-assurance, make decisions more easily, and experience less stress by trusting in yourself. The good news is that you may gradually gain confidence in yourself even if you don't trust yourself right now by making an effort. (Also read: 3 tips to deepen connection with the self )

3 Small-steps for building self-trust(pixabay)
3 Small-steps for building self-trust(pixabay)

Catherine Halstead, Occupational therapist and Overthinking Coach, shared three small steps for building self-trust in her recent Instagram post.

Step 1: Explore why you might lack self-trust

Can you think back to the first time you started to doubt yourself? Maybe it was when something didn't go as planned, or when you were blamed by someone else. Practice acceptance & self-forgiveness over this - it wasn't your fault. Being aware of previous events can help make you more aware of your current thought patterns and may help to reduce any sense of shame you might be experiencing.

Step 2: Surround yourself with people who make you feel you

This isn't always possible - but being around people who make you feel like yourself can give you the confidence & clarity to start trusting your own decision-making. Use these relationships as a safe space to start experimenting with making small decisions on your own. E.g. choosing a film to watch or what food to order. It can be helpful to let your loved ones know that you're working on this so they can keep you accountable and give you support.

Step 3: Set boundaries

Receiving unsolicited advice can make it harder to connect with how you're truly feeling & therefore trust yourself to make the right decision. Practice setting boundaries in these situations to limit other people from clouding your judgement. "I understand you're just trying to help, but I've made up my mind", "I'm not open to discussing this right now", or "I know this isn't the decision you'd make, but it's what feels right for me".

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