Shark Tank's Namita Thapar slams Bollywood for 'glorifying Meena Kumari style mother’, urges women to be ‘selfish moms’

Shark Tank's Namita Thapar advocates for a 'selfish mom' approach, encouraging mothers to prioritise their own happiness to effectively nurture their children.

For decades, films have celebrated the image of the endlessly sacrificing mother, often at the cost of her own identity. Speaking against this trope, Entrepreneur and Shark Tank India judge Namita Thapar encouraged women to be “selfish moms” and criticised Bollywood for romanticising the ‘Meena Kumari-style’ portrayal of motherhood.

Why is ‘self-sacrificing mother’ narrative harmful

Namita wrote in her January 4 Instagram post, “For too long Bollywood has glorified the Meena Kumari-style mom, sacrifices, silence, selflessness, tears… ‘wah kya mahaan maa ho aap’ (wow, what a great mother you are)… crock of bull***,” urging women to rethink the idea that suffering equals good motherhood.

Addressing women directly, she added, “Girls, wake up. You can make your kids happy only when you are fulfilled and happy. So the ‘selfish mom’ tag is actually a good thing.”

Namita emphasised that children learn respect by watching how their mothers value themselves. “You can only teach them to respect women when you speak up for yourself, especially when you’re ridiculed, often under the garb of humour. You do them harm when you give up your dreams and needs, when you don’t speak up when wronged, and when you helicopter around them.”

What kind of parenting Namita Thapar believe in

Sharing her parenting philosophy, she suggested stepping back as children grow older. “Once they turn 10, completely detach and let the university of life take over. Let them make their own decisions and learn through a few hard knocks. I want humble, independent kids who understand gender equality, not the typical ‘maa ka ladla’ (a mother’s pampered son) who becomes a pain for his spouse.”

However, she stressed that detachment does not mean absence. “Let them know that you’re their happy and safe space whenever they need a friend, and that in times of crisis, you will be their biggest warrior.” Namita also recommended two books that shaped her thinking, The Self-Driven Child and The Courage to Be Disliked, before ending her note on a personal declaration.

She adds, “So 2026, I’m selfish and ready to focus on me and my needs. If someone wants my time and love, earn it. Bohot kar liya duniya aur bacchon ke liye (I’ve done enough for the world and my children). Ab Simran… ja jee le apni zindagi (Now, Simran, go live your life).”

How mothers can take care of their mental health

In a July 2025 interview with HT Lifestyle, Dr Tonmoy Sharma, psychiatrist and founder-CEO of MerlinHealth, highlighted that a mother’s mental health is central, not secondary, regardless of whether she is a working, stay-at-home or single parent. He said mothers often carry an invisible emotional load marked by guilt, pressure to be perfect and burnout, which is frequently internalised or dismissed.

Dr Sharma stressed the importance of setting boundaries, sharing responsibilities, creating personal time, building support systems and accepting that “good enough” is enough, adding that even small daily acts of self-care and rest without guilt can help mothers feel stable, supported and better equipped to nurture their families.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.

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