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The hidden cost of appearing perfect in your teenage: Study says, it can lead to social disconnect

Mar 10, 2025 07:25 PM IST

The study observed that the constant drive to seem perfect in teenage can drive peers away, instead of attracting more friendships.

The constant need of being at the top of trends, excelling in examinations and also be the most confident person in the room often drives teenagers. They believe that being the perfect person can attract teen friendships and make them hog all the limelight. However, a recent study observes that the strive to be the most perfect person in the room can actually drive people away. Instead. Meaningful conversations with peers can help teenagers break free from the constant pressure of needing to be perfect. Also read | The scale of perfectionism: Therapist explains

Perfectionism comes at the cost of social disconnection. (Shutterstock)
Perfectionism comes at the cost of social disconnection. (Shutterstock)

Findings of the study:

The study was conducted on 239 teens between the ages of 13 and 19 (72 percent of whom were female). These participants were asked to complete a series of four questionnaires between the period of October 2017 and November 2021. The questions were designed to measure perfectionistic self-presentation, relational victimization and receipt of pro-social acts.

The researchers observed that teens tend to appear flawless to others, through boasting about their achievements and hiding their true emotions. Hence, the study further concluded that perfectionism comes at the cost of social disconnection. Also read | Parenting a perfectionist? Here are tips to recognise signs, understand risks and provide effective support

Is perfectionism driving your friends away? Study explains.(Shutterstock)
Is perfectionism driving your friends away? Study explains.(Shutterstock)

Signs of perfectionism and social disconnect:

The study was aimed to understand the hidden costs that teenagers pay when they are driven by the constant need of being perfect. The study noted down the signs that parents and caregivers should be aware of about their teenagers that project the pressure of being perfect at all times.

Hiding emotions: Teenagers often suppress their emotions of anger, distress and frustration, even at times when it is okay for them to show it.

Difficulty accepting compliments: One of the main signs of perfectionism is being unable to accept praises or compliments, because they believe that they are not perfect yet to earn it.

Not able to ask for help: Often teenagers who strive to be perfect struggle with asking for help and cooperation from others.

Effortlessness: They downplay the efforts that they put in, making their successes look effortless. Also read | Perfectionism can make us ill, affect our health and relationships. Here's how

Avoiding vulnerability: They avoid being vulnerable in front of others, thinking that it will lead to rejection and judgement.

Risk aversion: They steer clear of tasks that they believe can lead to risks of failure.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.

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Catch your daily dose of Fashion, Taylor Swift, Health, Festivals, Travel, Relationship, Recipe and all the other Latest Lifestyle News on Hindustan Times Website and APPs.
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