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Characteristics of emotionally immature parents
From relying on children for their emotional needs to resisting reality, here are a few characteristics of emotionally immature parents.
Some of us are brought up in dysfunctional homes where we did not receive the care and attention that we deserved. These are also the types of homes which were usually full of conflicts, chaos and were constantly in a state of urgency. Mostly because of the parents and the caregivers who did not know how to create a safe space for a child to thrive, these dysfunctional homes are the reason of many emotionally dysregulated adults. "The adult children of emotionally immature parents grow up struggling to receive basic emotional support or unconditional care from their parents. Because of their parents emotional volatility, the often feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid making their parents angry or upset. They also learn to suppress their own needs and emotions in favor of keeping the peace, since conflict with an EIP can be explosive," explained Therapist Morgan Pommells.
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Morgan Pommells further noted down the hallmark characteristics of emotionally immature parents:
Snapping with no warning: One of the classic characteristics of these parents is that they can snap at any given time and any situation. This makes the child walk on eggshells around their parents. These parents also hold the child responsible for keeping them happy at all times.
Struggle with emotional validation: They are usually focused on their own lives and relationships – this make them struggle to provide emotional validation and empathy to their child, when they need.
Care about their image: They are usually very focused on the way they should be perceived by others. Hence, they have a certain set of rules that their children should follow in living their lives. When the child fails to do so, they are being criticised and judged.
Relying on children for emotional regulation: They are so fixated on needing their emotional needs met that they rely on their children to do the same.
Resisting reality: They refuse to accept the reality of things and never take responsibility for their own actions.
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