Keep falling for people who hurt you? Relationship coach shares the signs of the right person

When attracted to people who keep hurting you, relationship feels like a struggle. To best your inner tendency to catch red flags, know the green flags first.

Emotionally, mentally, or physically hurting someone in a relationship is anything but an act of love. Yet, people often have an innate tendency to fall for those who hurt them. Breaking away from the habit of falling for red flags is a healing journey in itself. So, how to identify the right person?

Relationship coach Bambie Blom shared a few green flags to look for in the right person. Abuse is seen as romantic, simply because it feels like attention. It’s time to change that perspective by attracting the right energy.

Signs of the right person

Bambie shared these signs of the right person:

• Your person would treat you well: They would bring alignment, clarity and peace- not chaos, uncertainty, neglect and rejection.
• Your person would stay: They would value you enough to try and make things work with you.
• Your person would want to be with you: You wouldn't have to chase after them.
• Your person would make you feel safe, seen and valued: You wouldn't have to convince, beg, or bargain with them to choose you.
• Your person would come to remind you how loveable and worthy you are: Not to challenge you to convince them of your worth; not to change into something they'd rather be with.
• Your person would have the capacity to show up for you: Their presence would be healing, not hurtful, but supportive; not wounding, but healthy. Not dysregulating.

With the right person, love will feel like a stroll, hand-in-hand, not a race where you're constantly struggling to catch up or feeling like your partner is outpacing you. All the signs Bambie suggested show that the right person will value you and believe in mutual respect.

Love is not a battlefield

You don't have to be resilient to the abuse in the relationship in order to prove your worth. (Shutterstock)

Bambie explained an important lesson that everyone should keep in mind- love is a safe space, not a battlefield. She reiterated that the right person will calm you, care for you, and continuously choose you, no matter what.

Many people often treat love as a competitive sport, feeling the need to prove their worth to hold onto it. But, Bambie explained that real love is inherently very difficult to abandon.

A relationship should be a space that heals and not one that wears you down.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.