Woman says her alcohol abstinence is making her husband feel so ‘lonely, rejected' that he threatened her with divorce

In a Reddit post, the woman said that her decision to quit alcohol triggered her husband – he even threatened her with divorce, as the final ultimatum.

Alcohol can be at the heart of marital conflicts, whether it’s draining the family’s finances or instigating domestic violence. But a bizarre situation was shared on Reddit on the subreddit Relationships, wherein a married woman revealed how she felt rejected by her husband simply because she no longer drinks alcohol, and sought advice on how to save her marriage.

Woman who refuses to entertain alcohol at parties for anxiety issues, faces a strained relationship with her husband.

Woman can't drink due to anxiety and pregnancy

The woman was in a dilemma, caught between her husband’s tantrums and protecting her own wellbeing. (Representational picture: Freepik)

The woman shared that she had been married to her husband for 18 years and has two children with him. She said she never had a strong liking for alcohol, primarily because she realised that alcohol spikes her anxiety, particularly at work events. She then limited drinking alcohol to occasions with her husband and family friends. However, her drinking stopped entirely during her pregnancy and breastfeeding period. Even after resuming, alcohol caused her both mental and physical challenges, like migraines, anxiety, and even panic attacks, she shared.

So, caught between her own body's reaction to alcohol and parenting duties, she decided to abstain from alcohol entirely. Even though she herself didn’t oppose her husband drinking, her abstinence from alcohol became a bigger problem for him.

Husband's weird reaction

This is where it gets worse – as her husband was not on board with her refusal to drink and instead treated it as a major relationship dealbreaker. According to him, she shared in her post that alcohol was an important part of the relationship, and she was “singlehandedly killing the relationship by not drinking.”

She wrote, “A few months ago he wanted to get some wine - I also took a glass to keep him company but didn't drink mine beside a few sips and he got offended. Says no person in his life has turned down a drink with him except me and that he feels rejected and alone.”

His fixation on her not drinking with him has reached the point where he would threaten to leave her and find some other woman to drink with. She added, “Frankly I have no idea where to go from here. He says we'll divorce or he'll find another woman to drink with.” According to her husband, he feels rejected and lonely if his wife does not drink with him.

The Redditor did try to resolve the conflict by taking a few sips to keep him company, only for him to take offence. Even non-alcoholic options were off the table.

The Redditor highlighted that her husband was not an alcoholic, but he kept blaming her for their relationship going south. She described a tense situation that had escalated to the point of ultimatum, despite her reasoning of health and parenting duties.

She wrote, “Now it just went to absurd - my husband is saying that I took a stance of not drinking and gave him an ultimatum, which in turn forces him to give me an ultimatum - drink or separate. I tried explaining why I don't drink but he doesn't understand it and says it's my whim which breaks the marriage.”

What are the reactions?

In the post, other Redditors unanimously pointed out the husband's unhealthy relationship with alcohol, something only an alcoholic might actively show, despite the Redditor’s reassurance that he is not one. Likewise, another big red flag, as noted by a commenter, was that maybe alcohol was not the issue at all and that he is just picking a fight to push her into a corner and make her the “bad guy”.

The resolution ideas were mostly couples therapy to work through the issue, or planning an exit, as some remarked that the marriage might already be over based on how he is putting alcohol above the family.

Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them. This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.