Relationship coach shares 6 ways to make your partner with anxious attachment feel safe: ‘If they feel alone…’

A relationship coach shared six tips on how to make your partner or a loved one who has an anxious attachment style feel safe in the relationship.

Do you have an anxious attachment style? Per a study conducted by the National Library of Medicine, highly anxious individuals are heavily invested in their relationships, and they yearn to get closer to their partners emotionally to feel more secure. Moreover, anxious individuals harbour negative self-views and guarded but hopeful views of their romantic partners.

What to do if your partner has an anxious attachment style?

Per Victoria Miretti, a dating and relationship coach, if you have a partner or a loved one with an anxious attachment style, you can help them feel safe in the relationship using 6 ways. Let's check them out.

6 ways to create safety for your partner if they have an anxious attachment style

To create a safe environment for someone with an anxious attachment style, you have to be consistent, share your inner world with them, keep reassuring them, and adopt a few more methods. Here's what Victoria said.

1. Consistency

Per the relationship coach, their love language is matching your words and your actions, as it helps heal their abandonment wound.

2. Knowing where you stand

“They don't do well with uncertainty, so being clear, open, and honest goes a long way with them. Even if it's not what they want to hear,” Victoria explained. This applies to ‘how you feel about them, what you want in a relationship, future goals, likes, preferences, and more’.

3. Reassurance

For one reason or another, a person with an anxious attachment style was taught to mistrust that the love they received would come back or be enough. Therefore, reassurance works wonders for them. “So any reassurance you give them in moments they doubt (or even when they don't doubt) is one of the kindest acts you can do,” Victoria wrote.

4. Quality time and attention

“Anxious attachers love connectedness. They appreciate the attention and time you provide them. It makes them feel connected to you and that all is well,” the relationship coach explained.

5. Acknowledgements and validation of their feelings

People with anxious attachment styles tend to have a lot of feelings. Even if those feelings are directed at you, if you can empathise with them and let them know that their feelings make sense, they will feel seen, understood, and taken care of.

The relationship coach advised partners, who are in a relationship with someone with an anxious attachment issue, to let them know that what they feel makes sense ‘given what they have experienced’. “If they feel alone in their feelings, they will feel alone in the relationship,” she added.

6. Openness and transparency of your inner world

People with anxious attachment styles want to feel like you are letting them into your inner world. If you can be vulnerable, open, transparent, and emotive in front of them, they'll feel like you are in partnership. However, if you're a mystery, they'll feel uneasy.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.