Signs you are crossing your own boundaries
From feeling dreadful to feeling envious of others, here are a few signs that we overstepped our own boundaries.
Some of us are born in dysfunctional homes where healthy boundaries were not encouraged. Hence, we grew up with a crumpled idea of boundaries and we do not know how to build them or respect them, even when it comes to our own boundaries. That is when we end up crossing the boundaries. Sometimes it is not someone else, but us. This is a form of self-betrayal. "This is one form of self-betrayal. While the term seems intense and dramatic, it's actually a very concrete thing: it is disregarding yourself. We don't often choose to betray ourselves, we do it because of obligation, guilt, lack of awareness or pressure," wrote Therapist Israa Nasir as she explained the ways by which we often end up crossing our own boundaries.
Speaking of the feeling of resent that we feel when we cross our boundaries, Israa added, "There are two options when you have a feeling like resentfulness: either your behaviour is the reason for it, or someone else's behaviour is the reason for it. We are often focused on the other person's behaviour, we don't pay attention to ourselves and how we are showing up in our relationships."
ALSO READ: Why are boundaries so important?
Here are a few signs that we are crossing our boundaries:
Feeling resentful: Sometimes we feel irritated with another person or are resentful towards them without knowing the actual reason that can make us feel like that. Sometimes we feel the same way about ourselves for the choices we have made.
Dreading interactions: When we have the feeling of dread, it means that we have overstepped our own boundaries to commit to something that we are not ready for. Hence dreading happens as a sense of anxiety mixed with fear and discomfort. This is a sign of crossing our own boundary.
Anger and envy: When we are not able to stand up for ourselves, we feel anger and envy for the ones who can. This happens because deep down we feel that we need to be like them, but also feel that we cannot.
Unfulfilled in relationships: We often feel unhappy in relationships and feel that we are giving more than we are receiving. This makes us self-sabotage the relationships.
Overwhelmed and exhausted: We feel overwhelmed and exhausted most of the time and feel drained of every motivation to carry on.
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