Strategies to get fruitful outcome from a difficult conversation
To have a favourable outcome in a difficult conversation requires skills and few party tricks. Here are tips to help you undoubtedly achieve positive results
Having a difficult conversation with a friend, family or employee is among the most unpleasant thing one would like to do since it is confusing, overwhelming and often a riot of thoughts take over our minds. Although challenging, it is important to address problems and disagreements as and when they emerge in both, personal or professional relationships.
In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Life Coach Sheetal Shaparia, insisted that to have a favourable outcome in such scenarios requires skills and few party tricks hence, she suggested some straightforward techniques that can help you undoubtedly achieve positive results -
- Do not delay: The simplest thing to do is address a problem as and when it occurs. So do not push it for later, deal with the problem and have the conversation while they are fresh in your mind.
- Be prepared in advance: To achieve fruitful outcome, you need to be prepared for the conversation. Know the problem and what you seek from the conversation. Be sure, and only then go ahead.
- Select an appropriate place and time: A decent setting with the correct ambience is required to have a difficult conversation. Imagine trying to fire someone in a pub? Sounds odd, doesn’t it? The right setting and time can make a world of difference.
- Correct language: You need to be mindful of what you speak and how you speak. Don’t beat around the bush, be specific and succinct. Also, your body language also matters.
- Focus on facts: Make sure you get the point across to the person. Don’t indulge in wasteful conversation.
- Tone matters: The conversation is anyway going to distress the listener, so be mindful of your tone. Don’t raise your voice or sound sarcastic. The tone and the content needs to be in sync.
- Practise empathy: Try to approach the issue from the listener’s viewpoint, so that you can understand what’s going on in their mind. This will also make them feel heard and part of the solution you look forward to.
- Reposition yourself: During a difficult conversation you need to understand that the other person is not your enemy. So put the guards down and try to have a solution oriented approach. Try to do it as a team.
According to Coach Vikram, Executive Presence, Leadership and CXO Coach, getting into a conversation is not that easy as you have to maintain your pitch while you speak to someone and the tough part is how you maintain the flow of it while speaking. So, he recommended some tips to follow when you speak and maintain a good conversation.
1. Be careful to project an interest
A look that conveys, "I'm eager for this conversation to end asap" is the fastest way to conclude a conversation. Make sure you appear attentive and engaged. Maintain adequate eye contact, refrain from looking around the room over your discussion partner's shoulder and don't check your phone, even if you just received a text.
2. Don't dismiss idle conversation
Although it has a poor image, small talk may keep a conversation going and pave the way for more significant discussions. So go ahead and discuss the news, your weekend plans, and also your favourite past times. In an effort to make the other person feel comfortable while they are sharing something personal, you might be tempted to cut through the small chat and say something intimate about yourself as well. Unfortunately, this more frequently leads to you getting too close to the other person before they feel comfortable with you.
3. Pay close attention
Instead of just waiting for your chance to speak, make sure you're paying attention to what the other person is saying. What seems to be of interest to them? What do they wish to discuss? As a consequence, they will contribute more to the discourse, which will be advantageous to all the parties.
4. Ask for in-depth inquiries
Avoid the temptation of repeatedly asking yes-or-no questions. Due to this, it is too easy for the conversation to stagnate and for your conversation partner to feel as though they are being interrogated. Instead, pay attention to open-ended inquiries. For instance, if you're speaking to a coworker, you may first discuss her particular position and interests before moving onto the business as a whole.
5. Maintain your composure and practice
Try not to be alarmed. Even if you don't have a natural knack for discussion, your conversation partner will probably think well of you if you show kindness and curiosity throughout. Like anything else, conversational skill development requires practice. So go talk to people outside confidently and engage with them.
While there is no sure shot way of having a difficult conversation, an empathetic and open attitude helps you with problem solving. So be aware of where, when, and how you tackle a problem and have an intervention about the same.