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Why even ‘perfect’ marriages end: New York divorce lawyer reveals what really breaks couples apart
Divorce attorney James Joseph Sexton explains why even strong marriages end, pointing to emotional distance, unmet needs, and shifting priorities over time.
Even the most picture-perfect marriages can sometimes hide cracks beneath the surface that are not immediately visible. From communication gaps to evolving personal priorities and unmet emotional needs, relationships often shift quietly over time before reaching a breaking point. In many cases, what looks ‘perfect’ from the outside may tell a very different story within the home. (Also read: Twinkle Khanna says mothers don’t want handmade cards on Mother's Day; calls ‘a day of zero responsibilities’ best gift )
Why even perfect marriages face challenges
James Joseph Sexton, a US attorney who specialises in divorce and family law in New York, reveals in his May 12 Instagram post offers a striking reflection on the nature of marriage and why even relationships that appear perfect can ultimately change or end over time.
James shared in the video, “I hope people’s marriages end in death,” he says, acknowledging how unusual that may sound at first. “That’s a weird thing to say… like, ‘I hope your marriage ends in death.’ But I do, because it means they made it all the way to the finish line.”
For James, the idea is rooted in longevity and fulfilment rather than loss. He explains that there is no greater blessing than reaching the end of life still connected to the same partner, with gratitude and love intact.
“I can’t think of a greater blessing to ask for someone than to say, I hope that when one of you loses the other, that you’ll be able to say, this person helped me become the most authentic version of myself, and they’re still my favourite person,” he adds.
His perspective highlights how relationships evolve over time, and why even “perfect” marriages are shaped by growth, change, and the ability to remain deeply connected through life’s journey.
How to save your marriage
In a December 3 podcast, James shared a simple relationship practice called the ‘walk and talk’, which he says can help strengthen marriages.
He explained, “I've seen some couples that have made a practice they called a walk and talk where once a week they would just go for a walk.” During the walk, couples discuss “three things I did this week that made you feel loved and one or two things that made you feel unseen or could have been better.”
James said the habit encourages open, non-defensive communication and helps couples address issues early, adding, “There's value to that because it's about having a disciplined habit of making time for connection.”
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice.
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