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Woman wonders if she did the right thing breaking up her father’s relationship; Redditors say, ‘It needed to happen’
When the woman that her father was dating started to make rude remarks about her and her sister's dress, the OP gets into an altercation that ends in breakup.
When a parent dates someone much younger, their children often do not vibe with their new partner. For one woman, things came to a head when her father’s girlfriend became judgmental about how she and her sister dressed at home. She gave her dad an ultimatum and made him break up.
However, the sombre atmosphere in the household afterwards made her doubt her actions, and she took to the popular subreddit, r/AITAH, to share her story and ask for the community’s opinion.
Getting to know father’s young girlfriend
The OP is a 23-year-old woman who lives with her sister, 16, and her father, 47. The latter started dating a 28-year-old woman, whom the post refers to as Ashley, and after six months, decided to introduce her to his daughters.
Everything went well initially. They went to escape rooms together to bond, and as things progressed over the next three months, the father brought Ashley around to the house.
Trouble began when Ashley made a comment about how the OP should “serve” her father.
“My mother was very traditional and Hispanic, so manners were very much beaten into me. If my dad is busy with work or occupied, I'm thoughtful enough to serve him and so on. I was raised to be considerate of family. But it's not my job to serve him when he doesn't want to come to the table after being called on,” explained the woman in her post.
She told Ashley as much and brushed off the comment. However, this was just the beginning. The first night Ashley stayed over at the family residence was because she had too much to drink in the evening. The next morning, she saw the OP doing her laundry and asked why she was not doing it for everyone in the house.
The woman explained that in her house, everyone did their own laundry, to which Ashley replied that her sister should pick up more responsibility and that “it’s not good to be selfish."
This did not sit well with the OP, who spoke to her father about this. He said he would talk to Ashley, but with little effect. The OP started to feel that Ashley was competing with her for her father’s affection.
Ashley asked why his daughters were staying with him and had not moved out yet, to which the man explained that it was a “cultural and religious thing” that kids do not move out of the family home until marriage. Also, the father preferred his daughters to stay with him.
Later, Ashley apparently told the OP that she should not be calling her father “Papi” at her age, as it had a “sexual connotation.” This time, the younger sister intervenes and tells her that it is a cultural thing.
The final straw
The climax to the story came two weeks later, when the father and Ashley returned from a date one evening and found the sisters dressed comfortably at home. Ashley had an issue with the OP not wearing a bra at home and stated as much.
She even said that the baggy shirts and shorts that the sisters were wearing were too revealing and attention-seeking, and that they should be ashamed to dress that way around their father, much less live with him.
This made the OP snap. She claimed to have started cussing earlier, but then she got involved in a physical altercation, and the sister and the father had to pull her off Ashley.
The woman then gave her father an ultimatum to choose between her and his girlfriend, or else she would “remind him of mom for the rest of his life.” The night ended with him dropping Ashley off, and things have since been awkward in the house.
The younger sister told the OP that she should not have hit Ashley or brought up their mother, who died four years ago, during the argument. While she did apologise to her father for it, and he said that it was alright, over the next few days, he mostly gave her one-word replies. As they waited for the family to get back to normal, the OP asked Reddit if she was in the wrong.
Redditors back the OP
Netizens on Reddit rallied behind the OP and said the breakup is for the better.
One person called out Ashley, stating, “She had no right to try to parent you - especially since she is only 5 yrs older than you.”
“Her comments about them living there made it clear she was envisioning moving in with the Dad, and having the place to herself. She was trying to drive them out, assuming the Dad would side with her,” insisted another.
“Everyone in the house needed that. Even if it wasn’t initially a good thing/ or reaction. It needed to happen. She was extremely emotionally abusive and immature and sometimes older people find that endearing. That might’ve been why he was easy on her. But you’re his kids and you deserve love and protection. He’s raising you well,” stated a third.
“He’s possibly quiet because he knows he failed you,” insisted one person. “He needs to choose better next time.”
“You did your dad a favor,” pointed out a fifth.
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
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