‘Yes’ out of duty or love? Study reveals lesser-known details about sexual consent

Consent may seem unconditional but without context it may have emotional consequences, straining the relationship.

Consent is cool, but context is everything. Saying yes to sex doesn't really mean one is on the same page. It's much more nuanced than you think. There are numerous emotional costs to consenting to sex without being emotionally fully on board.

Open communication is important!(Shutterstock)

A study from Finland, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, looked into this aspect, exploring the reasons behind unwilling consent and how they, in turn, affect the relationship.

The reasons behind unwilling consent

The researchers examined 948 Finnish adults aged 18 to 50 who were all in sexual relationships.

The study labelled this behaviour as ‘sexual compliance.’ It is not forceful, as the person is voluntarily consenting, but it involves underlying factors like obligation, fear of angering the partner, and guilt. Couples in long-term relationships are especially more likely to engage in sexual compliance to protect their relationship, avoid conflict, or maintain intimacy.

As per the researchers, 38% of participants had complied over 100 times. But again, it depends on the context. When people do it to enhance intimacy and closeness, they tend to feel good about it. But when it’s out of pressure or fear of perceived consequences, they generally feel dissatisfied, which can put strain on the relationship.

What influences sexual compliance?

 

Those who say yes because of obligation or guilt feel emotionally distressed after sex.(Shutterstock)

The researchers also examined attachment styles. Emotionally secure people, meaning they don’t have an anxious attachment style or abandonment issues, can easily communicate whether they feel like having sex or not. They feel safe being honest with their partner.

But those who are not as emotionally secure may give in easily, swayed by pressure, or simply experience anxiety or lack the assertiveness to voice their needs.

Moreover, women tend to have anxious attachment styles more than men, which suggests they are more likely to consent out of fear of abandonment. They also tend to feel emotionally distressed afterwards.

Whereas men feel more confident and are not as much affected by sexual compliance.

The study shares an important reminder of mutual respect and emotional safety being the core foundation of healthy intimacy. By being open, one can communicate when they are not in the mood.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.