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Your love language is opposite of your stress behaviour and can be your toxic trait? Relationship coach explains
A relationship revealed recently that unmet needs often trigger our stress behaviours that contrast with our love language, and it could be a toxic trait.
Did you know your stress behaviour can be the opposite of your love language? In an Instagram post shared by Esther Ku, a Kuala Lumpur-based relationship coach, sometimes this trait can turn toxic.
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In the post, Esther listed examples of what a person's stress behaviour and love language can look like, and both were strikingly opposite of each other. She shared the post – titled ‘How your stress language is often the opposite of your love language’ – with the caption, “Could this be your toxic trait? Know yourself, not just your partner…”
Stress behaviour vs love language
According to Esther Ku, when needs go unmet, people's behaviour often tends to be the opposite of their love language. Check out some examples that she listed in her Instagram post:
| Stress behaviour | Love language |
|---|---|
| Not asking for help | Acts of service |
| Isolate or withdraw | Quality time |
| Ignore or avoid | Physical touch |
| Staying silent | Words of affirmation |
‘Your stress behaviour is the opposite of love language’
Per the dating coach, a person's stress behaviour can often look like ‘not asking for help, isolating or withdrawing yourself, ignoring or avoiding loved ones or staying silent’. Meanwhile, their love language, which she stated is the opposite of stress behaviour, can turn out to be ‘acts of service, sharing quality time, physical touch or words of affirmation’.
Esther explained that our needs, when met, allow us to recharge our batteries. Whereas our needs, when consistently unmet, cause us to act out in frustration or stress. “Everyone has the ability to increase resilience to stress. It requires hard work and dedication, but over time, you can equip yourself to handle whatever life throws your way when you start leading yourself,” she added.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice.
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