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‘Wait at your own peril’

Just write to uncle cy

lifestyle Updated: Sep 16, 2013 17:25 IST
Hindustan Times

Whenever I see a girl, I feel like asking her out. I don’t have the courage to talk to women. I feel shy. Please encourage me.
— Mrox
Mrox, I think you are confusing girls with Pepsi-Cola. They are two different things. Firstly, girls are better, and secondly, the word girl starts with the letter ‘g’ and Pepsi with a ‘p’. Now understand that when one looks at Pepsi, one falls in love with it, procures it, and then starts a relationship with it. Which may or may not include drinking it. The exact same behaviour is sadly frowned upon with girls. In the latter case, you have to first find a girl who is different. She needs to stand out and you need to think she is special. Then, you need to talk to her in a normal way. If she shares your feelings automatically, you’re in a relationship. If not, well, there’s always cola.

I chat with my girlfriend on Facebook every day. We rarely talk face-to-face. Recently, she told me that she’s not interested in loving anyone. She doesn’t come out with me because she’s worried that people might spread rumours about us. Even if she doesn’t like me, I don’t want our friendship to end. Do you think she has feelings for me? How do I express myself?
— Mr Introvert
Mr Introvert, frankly, yours is a complicated set-up. I must admit defeat and I’m tempted to shout, ‘next please’. However, I’ll give it a go. This seems to be the classic case of girl-says-one-thing-and-does-another. Since she chats and continues to chat, you’re definitely batting on this wicket. But her refusal to upgrade the relationship means your chances of getting to a century are slim. I say, you’ve got her ear, so use that to woo her. You’ve been given a chance to know her personality, likes and dislikes. So in the words of that famous owl breeder KS Shukla: Woo, woo, woo.

I like a girl and I am sure she knows that. I tried talking to her once, but unfortunately, her brother interfered and she couldn’t chat. Now, due to her coaching timings, I see her once in 10-12 days. Should I go ahead and talk her or wait for some time before approaching her?
—Mr Desperate

Wait for what? For her brother to leave the country? To join the army? You like her. You feel she’s interested, so why wait? There always will be obstacles in your path. I mean try parking your car in South Mumbai at 10 am on a Tuesday. The romance is between the two of you, not her brother or the coaching class, so wait at your own peril.

I like someone who is on my Facebook friend list. But I’ve chatted with her only once. She’s cute and always likes the pictures I upload. Please give me ideas as to how I can impress her and then ask her out.
—Mayur Dhondsekar
When you say she liked your photos, are they photos of you? Or photos of the Sahara desert you took on your last holiday? Since you’ve only chatted once, hold on a bit. Chat a few more times. Make sure she really likes you and then calmly get her to come on a mini-date. Also, make sure her pictures are authentic. This Internet love can go in any direction. Please investigate and study your market before plunging in. Love at first poke is very dangerous.

Just write to uncle cy
And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

First Published: Sep 16, 2013 13:29 IST