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Meet Pune’s people whisperer who is on a mission to relieve your lockdown loneliness
Standing in front of the eateries on Fergusson College road, the student from PICT, holds a placard with the message, tell me your story and I will give you Rs 10. Dagwar spends at least five hours on the footpath listening to people tell their stories
Working to make the world a much better place which listens, 22-year-old Raj Dagwar is a young engineer on a mission. Standing in front of the eateries on Fergusson College road, the student from PICT, holds a placard with the message, tell me your story and I will give you Rs 10. Dagwar spends at least five hours on the footpath listening to people tell their stories. He remembers the names of all the people who have spoken to him and also their stories. “I am a good listener and some of them really enjoyed my company when they were feeling low,” said Raj.
“Everyone has problems, big or small, and it’s not easy to speak about them. The lockdown forced several people to live alone and also feeling lonely, which led to many keeping their emotions locked within themselves, thus leading them towards depression,” says Raj, who finished listening to a young girl, who thanked him profusely.
Raj has heard over 50 stories a day, sometimes spending more than an hour listening to a person. He spends his evenings on FC road between 6pm and 11pm. “It feels good when a complete stranger comes up to me and starts telling me what he or she is going through. I know the feeling, I have experienced it first hand, when I was going through depression and was feeling all alone,” said Raj. I have had moments in my life in 2019, where I felt I was not up to the mark and that I was failing in my efforts to be like my father who is also an electrical engineer and living in Dubai. There were times when I simply could not open up to my parents, or interact with issues that I had with my younger brother. It was then that I sought professional help and overcame my problems,” says this shy young man.
It has not been easy, standing out on the pavement as some people stare, some criticize, and some are often curious. “All, I do is smile from behind the mask and slowly ask the question, tell me your story. If I can help them relax or ease their thoughts, I feel as if I have achieved one good thing,” he adds.
“Being a good listener means giving your entire attention to the person, making him/her comfortable and possibly relieve them of their stress. I recently met a grandmother who was visiting her grandchildren and felt the need to talk to me about not being able to understand them or how distant it has become. By the end of the talk, the granny had tears in her eyes and she felt good and blessed me,” said Raj.
Mental health and counselling is usually looked upon as a stigma or like having a disease, but Raj wants to help remove this label by urging everyone to speak up about their problems. Swaroopa Barve, a psychologist in Karvenagar, said, “The young man has taken up a good initiative. He is offering those who cannot talk freely, a chance to express themselves, however, as a mental illness professional, if he gets better guidance or sensitized to help identify those who really need professional help, it will alert him better or raise a red flag to refer that person to professionals for help. There is a tremendous need for people to talk openly especially after the lockdown for people to get used to the new normal. We, as a professional community, are trying to reach out to people and destigmatize therapy and the term psychology, although the new generation is much more open to seeking therapy.
Ravindra Shelar, a coordinator for an educational institute recalls his meeting with Raj. “I had a bad day at work and was walking aimlessly on FC road when I saw this young boy standing with a board. I approached him and started talking to him. I am a diabetic and during the lockdown, I was afraid of stepping out and hence, was very upset when I resumed work. I live with my wife and son, but you cannot talk to them about everything, so when I met Raj, I spoke to him about all my concerns, fears and felt relieved at the end of the conversation.”