Session on understanding consent held at Pune library on May 19

Advocate and NLP practitioner Rama Sarode says one needs to be clear and loud with their response and meaning for every act

Understanding consent is an important deciding factor in a relationship, at a workplace and also among peers. Very often, “no response” is misunderstood as “yes”, thus causing severe violations of personal space, said Rama Sarode. The advocate and neuro linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner was speaking at a session organised in the city on Saturday.

Advocate Rama Sarode speakes on consent at British Council Library in Pune.(Milind Saurkar/HT Photo)

The discussion focussed on many topics, including what is consent, how is it understood in the Indian context, how can it be given without causing any misunderstanding, martial rape and consent within marriage.

Sarode said, “Non-verbal consent can create misunderstanding as it is ambiguous. One needs to be clear and loud with their response and meaning. It is also the responsibility of the person to see that his/her consent is understood clearly.”

The session threw light on how one can be careful about giving consent for every act. She added that in a relationship there is a thin line dividing consent and dissent, and one has to ensure that both are on the same page. “One must understand that if one has given consent to any act in a relationship, he/she has the right to withdraw it too. One has the right to change mind. You then need to find out the reason behind the withdrawal, was it genuine (incompatibility or others) or orchestrated (pre-planned).”

On martial rape and consent within marriage, Sarode said that the topic is the need of the hour and there is a growing demand that marital rape be recognised. “This will help reduce sexual offences within the institution of marriage,” she said.

The meet also touched upon workplace consent, as people presume and assume in this space. “Understanding verbal consent and applying it is a must. One should be careful about encroaching on another’s personal space, understand the word stop, and not assume things. Don’t give in to stereotypes. All of these lead to miscommunication and misunderstanding. One such example is if the woman is wearing a certain outfit, people assume she is “asking for it”. People’s clothes are not signals, they’re just clothes. Don’t assume. This is a presumption people tend to make based on a belief in their subconscious mind. So, it is important to be open to ask, and talk, rather than presume,” she said.