Here are 5 crucial questions you must ask your partner before tying the knot
Having these discussions will give you a fair idea of what you’re getting into. Like they say, it’s better to be safe than sorry.Updated: Sep 05, 2017 09:28 IST
The success of a marriage depends, in large parts, on whether both partners agree on the big stuff. You know… the housing loan, career plan, the works. Once you have those figured out, the smaller things often fall into place by themselves. So before you say ‘I do’, sit down and have a chat. It won’t be a comfortable one but it’ll be worth it.
1) Career plans
Say you landed your dream job, but it’s in another city/country/continent. Would your partner be willing to relocate for your aspirations? It’s a tough question but can happen to any one of us. Have a frank discussion with your partner about your ambitions, priorities, and ideas of work-life balance. As for when you decide to have kids, figure out whether one of you would be open to staying at home/taking time off work to do the babysitting duties.
2) Financial habits and goals
Imagine marrying someone and then discovering they’re deep in credit card debt, or have a ton of student loans to pay off. Suddenly, their debts are yours too. Don’t walk into any such trap, and have a brutally honest conversation about money. If one of you turns out to be a spendthrift, and the other a conservative budget spender, it’s a recipe for disaster. Find out at what age they are thinking of retiring and the steps you both need to take towards securing long-term financial security.
3) To have or not to have kids
Marriages are not likely to succeed if one partner has a deep yearning to have a child, and the spouse simply doesn’t. Asking each other if they want kids (and how many), is one of the most important questions for a couple. It’s also a good idea to discuss at what age you want to have kids, and whether adoption can be an option to consider.
4) Parenting techniques
If you’re planning to have kids, make it a point to discuss how you want to raise them. This covers religious beliefs or values, gender roles, disciplining methods, etc. We often imbibe parenting styles from our own parents. So, ask each your partner about their childhood, and figure how you both plan to handle the minefield that is parenting.
5) Long term goals
If your idea of retirement is to move to a sleepy, laidback beach town, and your partner’s idea is to retire at 40 and explore the world, it could some serious differences. Talk about your dreams and find a way to align them. Long term goals include investing in real estate, starting your own company, engaging in creative pursuits like writing a book, etc. Work towards these together and you’ll find that you’ll achieve them much faster.
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First Published: Sep 05, 2017 09:28 IST