‘I say I’m gay because gay is easier than transgender’

A 22-year-old student from Nagpur discusses why he came out of the closet, but not all the way.

I came out as a gay man this month, to the gay community. I haven’t come out to most of my extended family yet. The truth is I’m using the term gay because I like it more than the truth. It’s easier to be gay
than transgender.

I was born transgender. I am more comfortable when I am identifying as a woman, when I’m dressed as a woman. I have felt like this since childhood.

I came to terms with my identity at 14. I felt I had to hide who I was from the world, but I was desperate to find out more about myself, and find other people who are like me.

I found an oasis of support online — and eventually I found a Facebook group for transgender individuals from my town.

I love my family. I like home-cooked food. I want to study further. I know I could lose all that if I come out as transgender. I could find myself forced into another box, one where everyone is loud and flamboyant. That’s not who I am either.

It was my mother who suggested I take a middle path and come out as gay.

I wish that along with sex education, schools would teach everyone about
sexuality, so that people like me could come out without being asked what our body parts are or why we don’t just become hijras.