Love Alert: Who not to date

Dating is something most of us want to experience at some point of time and it can give a great thrill too, but you've got to be cautious initially and keep certain things in mind before taking things to the next level. Vibhuti Jaitly has some tips for you.

sex and relationships Updated: Aug 22, 2011 15:47 IST
Vibhuti Jaitly
Vibhuti Jaitly
Hindustan Times

Think about it... You don't really know the guy/girl too well the first time you're going on the date, so try to gauge your partner's personality at an early stage itself and stay on the alert. Whether you're a guy or a girl, make sure you cross off all these qualities in your date.

Just as there are certain kinds of men women are attracted to, there are some types of men that women should steer clear of.

The Narcissist

A guy who only talks about "I, me, myself. This type of guy only brags about himself, how much he earns, his past glories, how women drool over him and how he could give Tom Cruise a run for his money. A guy who doesn't listen to his date and is filled with a superiority complex is surely not worth dating. You want your man to lavish compliments on you, not himself!

Mr Cheapskate

As the name suggests, this category is the tight fisted one. He would like to 'go dutch' on the very first date. You don't need to spend a fortune to make a good impression. Asking a woman to split the bill or pay the bill is rude, at least on the very first date. Today's woman is financially independent, drives her own car but that doesn't stop her from being treated in a good chivalrous way.

Couple"I once dated Mr. Scrooge. Every time we went to an exclusive place he made me pay on one pretext or another. I hardly dated him for 2 months and thought that itself was enough".

Shweta, Student

The Ladies' Man

This guy is the smoothe operator This guy surely knows how to treat a girl like a princess. This charismatic guy has an ability to get you hooked by his smoothe talks and flattery. He is quite often seen with other girls and on confronting him, all the girls end up being his friends or cousins. Remember that as quickly as you fell for his charms, so must have other girls and many after you will follow. He uses the same tricks to score other girls too.

The Possessive and Abusive Guy

This is the guy who clings to you 24/7. We agree that a little bit of jealousy and insecurity is good and interesting for the relationship but pay attention if it gets too much. Also, guys who bully in the form of sarcasm, verbal abuse or even worse, hitting you can wreck havoc on you. If you still date him, you alone are to be blamed.

"3 years ago I dated this guy for 1 year, who turned out to be an overtly possessive and psycho, he couldn't stand it if I interacted with my male friends or even my colleagues. With passing months, he started being a bully and even hit me twice during our relationship. That was the time I decided to call the relationship off. The emotional trauma lingered on for a long time on me."

Megha, IT professional

The Victim

This guy is always suffering. He has got a tale for every occasion, how his boss is unfair, his ex cheated on him, the world is unfair and so on. Nothing ever is his fault. You might feel pity for him initially but you will not like his ever crisis-filled life. You surely don't want to end up being an agony aunt for your guy.

Generally, men fall for good looking women and think that if a woman is well dressed, beautiful and articulate, then she fits in the perfect partner category. Hey beware!You never know that behind this appearance is something that might just make you run away. Here is a list:

DatingMiss Marriage on Mind

This type of woman is eager to get married as soon as she gets hold of a suitable man. She starts talking about future aspects on the very first date. She has her entire life (including yours) planned out from the moment you meet. Thinking about taking the relationship to the next level is not wrong but it should come up with time.

"I went on a date and on the very first date, she drank and how! and got sloshed. She started puking and she couldn't handle it so I had to help her out. After that evening we went for another date and she started telling me that I'm a perfect husband material since I took good care of her. I thought that was funny as I was being a gentleman. So after that date I had to run away."

Sahil Salathia, Model

Miss Drama Queen

Its okay to be emotional and react but this category of women takes things to an extreme level. She will constantly find reasons to fight with you. She will freak out at the smallest incident. You will feel drained if you remain with her.

Miss High Maintenance

This category of Venusians expects her man to finance her and thinks that it is her right to be taken care of. She expects that the guy should pay for her drinks, dinners, shopping, gifts, chocolates and such things, while she feels no compulsion to reciprocate.

"I started dating a girl and within the first month I was on the verge of becoming a broke. She would demand to go on luncheons and dinners every other day and wouldn't settle less than an upmarket place. So I ended up saying goodbye to her."

Abhishek, Entrepreneur (*name changed on source's insistence)

Miss Insecure

If you are not doting on her then you are inviting trouble for yourself. She thinks you don't like her anymore if she doesn't hear from you often. The insecurities are manifested in various ways. She would call or text you constantly to know your whereabouts. She constantly needs reassurance from you. This lady doesn't believe in the concept of giving space and thinks that you would leave her any moment for someone better.

With the above categorisation of girls and boys to be avoided, it would be easy for you to make a good choice. Also, everybody is not the same and hopefully you don't fall under the any of the above categories. Happy dating!

First Published: Aug 22, 2011 15:39 IST