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Rivals at home

Not all men can take women's success. Kanchan Maslekar on why men are threatened by successful wives.

sex and relationships Updated: Jun 25, 2008 15:34 IST
Kanchan Maslekar

A Pune-based entrepreneur, Rachana Oak was a homemaker till her husband encouraged her to start her catering business.

She started off from home and shared her husband’s staff. Within a span of five years, her business was flourishing. Her work kept her husband’s staff busy. At the same time his business suffered a setback. Competition at home Rachana claims, while her business was flourishing, her marriage was crumbling. He hated to be identified as Mr Rachana.

Everything she said, did or did not do was associated with her success. The understanding husband, became a jerk.

Sarita Sharma married her classmate soon after college. She explored the right opportunities and her career graph rocket ed. She became a jet-setter but her husband couldn’t match her progress.

Sarita’s friends point out that Sarita is always encouraging her husband. But the favour is rarely returned by Satish.

Satish has not been able to cope with Sarita’s success and the tension between the two is apparent when they’re together. Taking off on a foreign trip has become an obsession for Satish, just because his wife is a frequent traveller.

Rivalry between husbands and wives is blamed largely on the male ego. Others say that the male is expected to be the main bread earner. Tilted balance So when the balance is tilted, men often end up feeling threatened, causing cracks in a relationship.

Not many husbands can cope with successful wives. “Most husbands are supportive till their wife is at the same level. As soon as she starts doing better, they have issues,” says Rachana. Though financial issues are the biggest bone of contention, some husbands are known to feel threatened, by their wife’s social networking skills, personality and intellect.

Madhukar Chandak is an introvert while his wife is outgoing. He says, “After marriage, I could not deal with her popularity My friends were always talking to her. I . felt ignored. It was difficult,” he states.

Chandok then reasoned to himself that he was attracted to his wife because of her vivacious personality. “And here I was expecting her to change, though we have our bad moments, we have sorted out our differences.”