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‘Upper caste’ or earning over ₹80 LPA: Woman’s conditions for prospective groom
The post by the founder of a matchmaking company about an educated woman’s conditions for a groom in an arranged marriage setup has prompted varied responses.
The founder of a matchmaking service company has sparked a viral conversation about the persistence of caste bias among India’s educated elite. Her LinkedIn post features the story of a 32-year-old fashion label owner from a seemingly progressive family who insisted on "upper caste" matches, with a significant caveat. The prospective bride admitted she would waive the caste requirement only if a suitor earned over ₹80 lakh annually.
“She wanted ‘Upper Caste Matches’ only unless the guy earned 80 LPA or more. This was told to me by a 32-year-old who runs her own fashion label. On paper, she comes from a very progressive and educated family with her father, an IPS officer and mother working as a teacher,” Oendrila Kapoor, founder of The Date Crew, wrote.
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She added, “And yet this is the only condition that she put in front of us: Brahmins, Rajputs, upper caste profiles only. Now as a matchmaker, this is so common that my next question is pretty much always the same. ‘What if we find someone who checks every box, income, values, lifestyle, family, but he's not from those castes. Would you reject him?’ She replied, ‘If he makes 80 lakhs or more... then I'm okay with it’.”
Kapoor then asked the woman why she had a “caste filter” in the first place. She replied, “I don't know. My parents wouldn't agree otherwise.”
Commenting on the whole situation, Kapoor shared, “This is what caste bias looks like in 2026! In metro cities, among educated families, caste bias works through avoidance, through ‘this is how it is done’, through ‘hume hamari caste me hi shaadi karni hai’.”
She continued, “But it isn't. Because what she was actually saying is: caste matters unless money compensates for it. That's not about values or compatibility. That's about social rank. And money buys rank. So the math works.”
In the rest of the post, she shared her reflections on people's mentality, especially those in big cities.
“We sit in big cities, call ourselves progressive, and then open matrimonial apps and filter by caste. If you want to break the cycle, it starts with one uncomfortable conversation with your parents. Tell them you're not filtering on the basis of caste. And the next time a profile lands in front of you and your instinct is to check the caste first, notice that instinct but then keep reading anyway.”
What did social media say?
An individual wrote, “Finding true love was the point… somewhere it got replaced by caste and CTC.” Another added, “Indian marriages, especially arranged marriages, are just a transaction. It always has been and probably always will be.” A third expressed, “A common story for most people.”
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Oendrila Kapoor completed her schooling at Carmel Convent School in India and then pursued a B.Com at Shri Ram College of Commerce (SRCC). She founded her company, which works “exclusively with accomplished Indian professionals”, in 2020.
