Bollywood Stock Exhange

VJ Juhi Pande on the top 10 stock fluctuations on her show, Bollywood Nonsensex.

Price of gold has shot up according to the new budget. In totally unrelated news, Bappi Lahiri’s stock price has dropped by 15 points.

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Temperature in Mumbai soars to up to 40 degrees, or as Jadoo puts it, “It’s a buffet out there!” Therefore, Jadoo’s stock price went up by 40 points.

Ricky Martin recently announced to the world that he’s gay. Karan Johar’s stock price, along with other things, went shooting up.

Freida Pinto to be the next Bond Babe? So much hullaballoo that James Bond’s stocks took a drop by 0.07 points.

Arjun Rampal won the National Award this year. In other news, Common Sense’s stock price took a dramatic fall.

Anil Kapoor recently used the word ‘jackass’ on his latest Hollywood venture, 24. As a result, his stock price went up, but only for a few moments, as scientists soon realised that Mr Kapoor wasn’t saying jackass: he was only saying ‘jhakaas’ in an American accent.

Mallika Sherawat’s stock price took a plunge after the actress announced that she won’t be wearing plunging necklines anymore. Life is ironic sometimes.

Katrina Kaif’s stock price recently increased by a complete 25 points when she realised that even in Hindi, her name reads as Katrina.

Ajay Devgan and Kajol’s stock price went down, as market investors realised that their star couple name is ‘A-Jhol’. Similarly, Rajpal Yadav and Nagma’s stock price also dropped as their star couple name is ‘Rajma’. Lastly, Mohit Ahlawat and Zac Effrons star couple name resulted in a drop in prices: Their star couple name is ‘Mo Ron’.

Market analysts find out that Priyadarshan names all his films based on the status of his digestive track, post eating Punjabi food. Stock price of Hungama, De Dhana Dhan, Hulchul, Hera Pheri and his latest Bum Bum Bole fell by 10 points after this revelation.