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Sunday, Sep 15, 2019

Bollywood Mathematics

When the Fake Jhunjhunwala was a kid, he loved numbers, in fact still does. And now he feels kids should simply combine the world of cinema with mathematical concepts and Voila! Children all over will be dying to solve their problems (pun intended).

brunch Updated: Dec 01, 2011 14:20 IST
The Fake Jhunjhunwala
The Fake Jhunjhunwala
Hindustan Times

When I was a kid, I loved numbers. I still do. My favorite numbers are the ones which appear in my Bank Account and on Share Quotes in the Stock Market. Kids these days however worry me. They are influenced less by numbers and more by other things like films for example. To solve the problem we need to fix the way Math is taught in schools. Simply combine the world of cinema with mathematical concepts and Voila! Children all over will be dying to solve their problems (pun intended).

Think about it. Moreover it's always fun to solve Math problems on a question paper that looks like this:

* If it takes 5 seconds for one drop of mango juice to fall onto Katrina Kaif's lip in the Slice ad from a distance of 2 metres at an incline of 70 degrees, calculate the total number of drops of the same size that need to fall at the same speed on Katrina's lip for the bottle to empty completely.

* If Vidya Balan's body mass = X before gaining weight for her role in 'The Dirty Picture' and body mass = Y after gaining weight for The Dirty Picture then express the total difference in Vidya Balan's weight as a percentage

equation* Kareena Kapoor states in the recent Head and Shoulders Ad that she has been dandruff free since 2007. Assuming Kareena to have had 1 gram of dandruff per every square inch of her scalp; Calculate the total amount of Head & Shoulders Shampoo required to cleanse her of dandruff completely given a standard specification rinse of one water cycle.

* Calculate the total hook up to split up ratio In a scenario where Shahid Kapoor splits with Kareena and Kareena hooks up with Saif who splits from Amrita while Shahid hooks up with Priyanka who has split from Harman Baweja at around the same time Deepika has hooked up with Ranbir and then split from him and has then hooked up with Siddharth Mallya.

* Solve the following equation:

No. Of times Emraan Hashmi has kissed on film

Total number of times the media has covered Emraan's kisses


The Fake Jhunjhunwala is the parody writer of the popular blog 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala'. He likes counting money. He is a big fan of Samosas, Ice Cream, Pav Bhaji, Pizza, Garlic Bread and Beer.

His hobbies include playing Super Mario, Stalking Hot Babes and Watching B-Grade films to intensively investigate any censor board violations. He also watches Cricket and worships Sachin Tendulkar as much as he worships himself. Read more from him at

He can also be found on twitter usually ranting about Uday Chopra, The Universe and everything in between at

(The views expressed by the author are personal)

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First Published: Dec 01, 2011 14:07 IST