The day I set my TV remote on fire...

It was a dark and stormy night. Really, I am not being dramatic because my WiFi went out. Suffering from a strong bout of boredom and the agony of being separated

Updated on: May 7, 2016, 20:29:54 IST

By Soumya Srivastava

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It was a dark and stormy night. Really, I am not being dramatic because my WiFi went out. Suffering from a strong bout of boredom and the agony of being separated from Netflix, I ventured into the unknown territory of the living room. I rested my butt on what looked like a black, furry bear (later learned it was called a couch) and saw in front of my eyes a giant, black monolith. I asked my birth-giver, “What is this funny thing, mother?” She handed me a long-ish, thin-ish device and told me to press the buttons, promising great entertainment. I did so but I wish my fingers were rather dipped in acid. Here’s what my eyes, or what remains of them, saw on that dreaded night.

Sasural Simar Ka: One woman called Simar is in Pataal Lok, fighting Patali Devi. She is in literal hell but her hair and make-up is still on fleek. When she defeats Patali Devi, she comes back to life and is now battling four female ghosts in her house.

Current brain function: 80%

A long time ago, I am told, this serial was about a woman who wanted to dance but was forcibly married off instead.

Saath Nibhana Saathiya: A woman tries to kill her daughter-in-law by locking her in a room full of white mice. Also, the mice were made in horrible CGI. Two mintues later a mother-in-law tortures her bahu by electrocuting her in another scene.

Current brain function: 60%

Wow, the world has really progressed. Remember the good old days of the regular kerosene and matches?

Yeh Kahan Aa Gaye Hum: A man is turning into a tiger and only a rudraksha bead on a string can stop his conversion. It’s supposed to be a love story, by the way, where a rockstar falls for a simpleton.

Current brain function: 40%

Other real-life rockstars must be so jealous of his talent. Imagine if the members of Queen could suddenly all turn into tigers on stage. AWESOME!

Vishkanya: A nervous blue girl is trying to hide at a party. She is supposed to be poisonous or something. At least that’s what the title of the show says.

Current brain function: 20%

Well, well, well… looks like Smurfette grew up!

Naagin: A woman can turn into a snake at will and is currently having a face-off with an icchadhari pea-hen. PS: They are also fighting over a man.

Current brain function: 0%

Get me the old-fashioned kerosene and matches. It’s time to set the remote, the TV, the couch, the house and my eyes on fire.

From HT Brunch, May 1, 2016

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Soumya Srivastava
Soumya Srivastava is the Entertainment and Lifestyle Editor at Hindustan Times, bringing over a decade of experience covering movies, celebrities, pop culture, and everything that feels current and compelling. With a sharp editorial lens and an instinct for what resonates, she writes stories that balance insight with accessibility — whether she’s reporting from a red carpet, reviewing a buzzy new release, or unpacking the craft behind cinema. An unabashed Swiftie and a devoted admirer of Christopher Nolan’s filmmaking, Soumya blends heart and analysis in equal measure. She holds a degree in English Literature from Janki Devi Memorial College, Delhi University, and is an alumna of IIMC Dhenkanal (2013). As a Rotten Tomatoes Certified Film Critic, her reviews reflect credibility, cultural awareness, and a nuanced understanding of storytelling across genres and formats. She has interviewed celebrities like Celine Song, Zoya Akhtar, Kajol, Shabana Azmi, Pankaj Tripathi and more. She has also reviwes hundreds of movies and written thousands of stories, made videos, special columns and more. While films remain her first love, Soumya’s interests extend deeply into lifestyle and design. She is particularly drawn to décor, thoughtfully designed spaces, and the subtle ways aesthetics influence everyday living. From celebrity homes and interior trends to broader lifestyle movements, she enjoys exploring how personal taste intersects with identity and modern culture. Her voice is informed yet relatable, analytical yet warm — making her work engaging for a wide and diverse readership. Through her writing, Soumya continues to shape conversations around entertainment, lifestyle, and contemporary culture.Read More

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