Spice of life: What’s in a name, lots it would seem - Hindustan Times
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Spice of life: What’s in a name, lots it would seem

ByCol Avnish Sharma (retd)
Apr 08, 2023 11:12 AM IST

I have, at last, learnt to live happily with the agony. As they say, “If you can’t beat them, join them.”

Just the other day, we were at a writers meet when the affable anchor introduced me as Avinash. Normally I pre-warn the anchors or introducers that my name is Avnish and it has the knack of getting misspelt and mispronounced as Avinash, Ashwani, Ashish, Ashwinand and the likes.

Normally I pre-warn the anchors or introducers as my name has the knack of getting misspelt and mispronounced. (HT File)
Normally I pre-warn the anchors or introducers as my name has the knack of getting misspelt and mispronounced. (HT File)

During my entire service in the army, even the highest office which handles personal matters has invariably addressed all communication to Avinash/Ashwani. The error never worked in my favour as I could never ignore unpleasant official communication, palm it off to a certain Avinash, since the Indian Army works more on the Indian Commission (IC) numbers.

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I was approved to command a unit during 2001. Unfortunately my own unit was subscribed and that meant a year-plus waiting time, which the army headquarters does not encourage in the service interest of an officer. So, I was seconded to another unit for command.

The orders for the posting emanated from the headquarters in the form of a signal (a shortened crisp communication akin to a telegram) and it read,” IC… Lt Col Avinash Sharma posted to… to assume command and rank b… ”.

Now, for me it was normal since I was used to being addressed wrongly. The regiment that I was being moved to had issued a customary draft special order of the day, announcing assumption of command by the new commanding officer.

A special courier arrived at Shimla, my place of duty, from the far end of Rajasthan, where the regiment was stationed and reported at my office. He handed over the neatly-wrapped special order in a typical military drill before I unwrapped it, holding my breath and hoping to see my name spelt correctly.

Alas, the adjutant had religiously gone by the army headquarter signal. But, the second in command knew me from before! How could he? Maybe he was on leave. Well before I could stew further in my negative thoughts, the landline on my desk announced a call from the regiment with the second in command on the line. “Welcome sir, hope you remember me… we were together at… hope the boy arrived with the special order and the contents are right and any amendments required?”.

“I listened to him and didn’t know whether to blame him or my parents for having named me what they have. I collected myself and sounding as cool as a cucumber replied, “Thanks. I suppose the clerk has misspelt my name, rest of the contents seem fine.” I tried to stress on my name being misspelt.

“Sir, I too was surprised to see your modified name in the signal. I thought you changed your name to get you better luck… like a lot of celebrities do these days,” Well, thanks to the gentleman’s cheeky wit, it was accomplished once again.

Now, coming back to the writer’s meet episode the other day. I did not forewarn the anchor regarding pronouncing the name correctly. The moment she announced my name on the stage, there was a buzz from amongst my friends in the audience prompting the anchor to correct herself.

The embarrassed anchor seemed speechless before I took the mc and said, “Thanks for the introduction. Well, my name is a little uncommon and doesn’t come naturally… even my wife tried unsuccessfully for years to get it right, but had to switch to jaanu (Darling)”. Laughter ensued. I have, at last, learnt to live happily with the agony. As they say, “If you can’t beat them, join them.”

Well, when a long-term acquaintance who met me at the golf course the other day was at his courteous best, “So Munish , how was the game?”, lending a fresh twist to an already-twisted name. I simply smiled and replied, “Couldn’t be better buddy!”

avnishrms59@gmail.com

(The writer is a Chandigarh-based freelance contributor)

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