Malavika’s Mumbaistan: Motherless Children

This International Mother’s Day, the wretched truth that we might as well face is that every one of us — you, me, him, her and them — we are all motherless children, orphaned, abandoned and alone, with no one to turn to, to wipe away our tears, or mitigate our fears or tell us that things are going to be okay…

You do not have to give birth to be a mother. It is neither a function of biology, nor a title, nor even a noun.

Motherhood is a verb. It means to love, to protect, to shield, to shelter; to put another’s interests ahead of one’s own. (ILLUSTRATION: Gajanan Nirphale)

Motherhood is a verb. It means to love, to protect, to shield, to shelter; to put another’s interests ahead of one’s own. It calls for courage, sacrifice, heroism, unconditional love and deep reservoirs of empathy and compassion.

A mother is a repository of our hopes and dreams, as well as of our pains and sorrows. No matter how old a person is, their mother is who they will call out to for help in their moment of agony or need. Minutes away from his certain death, with his murderer’s knee on his neck, George Floyd called out to his long-departed mother, when he could not breathe. It is said that Jacinda Arden brings many qualities to her role as the Prime Minister of New Zealand, but perhaps the greatest one is that she sees her job as being a mother to her people. A mother will not favour one of her children over the other and even if she does, will never want it to be known. A mother is someone who feels her child’s pain without having to be told of it. She is someone whose side you hurry to when you are anxious and unwell.

And today, on the eve of International Mother’s Day, the wretched truth that we might as well face is that every one of us — you, me, him, her and them — we are all motherless children, orphaned, abandoned and alone, with no one to turn to, to wipe away our tears, or mitigate our fears or tell us that things are going to be okay…

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“No language can express the power and beauty and heroism of a mother’s love,” said Edwin Chapin. “Motherhood: All love begins and ends there,” said Robert Browning. If you want to put an end to all wars, ask the mothers of soldiers to sit across a table and negotiate for conflict resolution. If you want to feed an ever-expanding congregation of hungry stomachs when supplies are low, put a mother in charge of the kitchen. In the long list of dictators, despots and tyrants who inflict genocide and suffering on their citizenry, you’d be hard pressed to come up with more than a couple who are mothers. Of all her epoch-making achievements, singer and activist Joan Baez, who once marched with Martin Luther King and had sung at the fall of the Berlin Wall, declared that motherhood was her most momentous one. Of all her iconic titles, Vice-President of America and major glass-ceiling-shatterer Kamala Harris says being called “Momala” is her most cherished. There’s no bond as strong in the entire world as that of a mother and child, nor is there a love so all-encompassing and protective. The natural world abounds with stories of mother goats that have nurtured newborn pups and of mother wolves suckling human cubs. A mother’s primary dharma is inclusivity; she is someone who will always look out for the weakest child in her litter.

And today, on the eve of International Mother’s Day, the wretched truth that we might as well face is that every one of us — you, me, him, her and them — we are all motherless children, orphaned, abandoned and alone, with no one to turn to, to wipe away our tears, or mitigate our fears or tell us that things are going to be okay…

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The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children. Barrack Obama credits his idealistic, single mother for all that is good and noble in himself. Philanthropist, award-winning filmmaker and celebrated chef Vikas Khanna says his feisty, octogenarian airplane-flying mother is his abiding inspiration. A mother is someone who will think nothing of going hungry, even as she cooks a meal for her child. The mythologies of the world are full of examples of mothers like Yashodhara, Parvati and Sita who protected and nurtured and safeguarded their offspring. A mother occupies pole position in the world’s collective consciousness. It is said that the most memorable dialogue heard from all of award-winning screenwriters Salim and Javed’s vast body of work is the one delivered by Shashi Kapoor in Deewar, when he utters the simple words “mere paas ma hain”. Princess Diana believed, “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.” A mother would rather die than betray the faith and trust that her children have placed in her.

And today, on the eve of International Mother’s Day, the wretched truth that we might as well face is that every one of us — you, me, him, her and them — we are all motherless children, orphaned, abandoned and alone, with no one to turn to, to wipe away our tears, or mitigate our fears or tell us that things are going to be okay…

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So, not for the cheesy sentimentality of a Hallmark holiday, nor for the crass commercialisation of a spurious slogan, (Anna Jarvis, the instigator of International Mother’s Day, actually devoted the remainder of her life to protest against it), but to stress the fundamental truth of it: having a mother and dying are the only two universal human conditions. Mothers have been immortalised in great literature, iconography, popular culture and art. Brecht’s Mother Courage and single mum-on -welfare, JK Rowling’s big-hearted mother Molly Weasley in the Harry Potter series. NGO Mothers Without Borders was created by Kathy Headlee to nurture orphans across the world. Earth Mothers who don’t have to be told that the health of our planet and the health of every creature on it, however small, are inextricably bound. Modern-day Momagers, who step in to make their children’s dreams come true. Mothers like Irena Sendler, who smuggled 2,500 Jewish children out of the Warsaw Ghetto during the Holocaust. The righteous mother played by Nargis in Mehboob Khan’s Mother India, who puts her principles above her maternal love. The anguished mother in the Bible’s Judgment of King Solomon, who begs that her child be taken from her rather than cut in half. The natural state of motherhood is selflessness. The highest undertaking that a person can aspire to is to be a mother to the world. A mother will put aside her own prejudices and partisanships, when her child is in danger. She will rush to their bedside if they are ill and dying. A mother will soothe their fevered brow and keep vigil all night, until they are nursed back to health.

The planet would be better served if all manmade constructs of nationhood, economy, jurisprudence, administration, and leadership were predicated on the principles of motherhood. Fortunate are those families that have a mother amid them; favoured are those people who have a mother to call their own; blessed is that country led by one who embodies the qualities of a mother. The best place to cry is in a mother’s arms. Minutes away from his certain death, with his murderer’s knee on his neck, George Floyd cried out for his long-departed mother when he could not breathe.

And today, on the eve of International Mother’s Day, the wretched truth that we might as well face is that every one of us — you, me, him, her and them — we are all motherless children, orphaned, abandoned and alone, with no one to turn to, to wipe away our tears, or mitigate our fears or tell us that things are going to be okay…