Handle with flare
Twitter suspends Milind Deora’s genuine account, lets fake handle stay — Press Trust of India, August 24, writes Manas Chakravarty.columns Updated: Aug 25, 2012 23:20 IST
Twitter suspends Milind Deora’s genuine account, lets fake handle stay
— Press Trust of India, August 24
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi :Due to recent disturbances, we have had to take strict measures to regulate the internet.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: We have banned the website of the International Muslim Federation, imf.org, for carrying inflammatory material about economic policies of friendly countries.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: Due to recent incidents in Dodoland, we are blocking all references to Dodos on websites, especially hate messages about their extinction.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: Please substitute the word Bodo for Dodo in previous tweet. They are far from extinct.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: We wish to clarify that the government of India is not also known as Dodoland.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: The guy who made the mistake about Bodoland has been transferred to Kokrajhar.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: All references to ethnic clashes are banned. Please remove mention of recent clashes between Pokomo and Orma tribes in Kenya.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: Also remove all mention of fighting between Hutu and Tutsi in eastern Congo, which might inflame similar passions in India.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: We hope you find these pro-active measures taken to ensure the safety of our citizens reassuring.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: We have since found out that imf.org is the website, not of the International Muslim Federation, but of the International Monetary Fund. We have unblocked it.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: We regret to inform you that IMF has slashed India’s growth forecasts.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: All references to the derogatory word ‘chink’ have been banned. Phrases such as ‘chink in the armour’ and ‘chink of daylight’ may not be used.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: It has come to our notice the word pseudo is often used in an insulting way, such as pseudo-secular, pseudo-nationalist, pseudo-socialist etc.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: Therefore, words starting with pseudo such as the words in the previous tweet and also pseudonym, pseudopodia etc are forbidden.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: The word coalgate contains the word coal, which is inflammatory and can cause fires that can spread. It too is banned.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: The state of Moneypur in the North-east is very rich. We believe it is populated by stockbrokers, speculators, financiers, investment bankers etc.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: The Cookie tribe in the North-east has had a troubled history. They are the target of hate sites which want to bake Cookies and eat them.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: Moneypur these days is spelt Manipur to look cool. Cookies call themselves Kukis for the same reason.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: To all refugees: PeeEm too was a refugee from Pakistan. Later he migrated to Assam so that he could join Parliament in Delhi. It’s complicated but remember— you are not alone.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: As a positive measure, we are doing a film on Assam, with Salman as a Kashmiri disguised as a Bangladeshi immigrant while Katrina is a Vokkaliga disguised as a Bodo.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: The film is called “EkthaKaziranga Rhinoceros”. After brief flings— Salman with Eskimo, Katrina with Hottentot— the lovers live together in communal harmony.
PeeEmOw@GeeOwAi: This is grossly unfair. They’re shutting me down by mistake instead of the fake PMO handles.
Manas Chakravarty is Consulting Editor, Mint
(Views expressed by the author are personal)
First Published: Aug 25, 2012 23:17 IST