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Witerati: Post-Pammi dame, PUBG gets the blame

The latest PUBG versus non-PUBG divide is to Tweeple what the iPhone XS Max vs Galaxy Note 9 divide is to geeks

columns Updated: Sep 16, 2018 17:57 IST
PUBG,Pokemon,Tweeple
(Representational Photo)

For certain Tweeple of the fairer sex who may have been harbouring misplaced notions that the Souten No 1 still playing spoilsport in living room conversations is a spouse’s l’affaire with social media or cricket mania, a belated realisation has dawned that the blame of late did migrate to a hotter game.

Seasons past saw their own signature “soutens” virtually serving as conversation or relationship killers. Poor Pammi Aunty is long since passé. Pokemon has long been an old hat. So, just when one thought one was done with smartphone “soutens” who saw spouses minding too many “Ps and cues”, there perambulates in another ‘P’ to play spoilsport.

The Showstopper No 1 now keeping progeny away from bookish concentration and partners away from polite conversation is not so much the social media riding 3G or 4G. It’s Digital India’s latest gaming mania called PUBG!

To further encroach into Digital India’s work hours and shirk hours, a battle royale is raging between social media riding 4G and new kid on the ‘G’ bloc PUBG.

The new PUBG vs non-PUBG divide is to digital natives what the iPhone XS Max versus Galaxy Note 9 divide is to geeks. Or it’s what the BK Mutton Whopper vs McSpicy Paneer divide is to burger buffs.

OF A NEW KID ON THE ‘G’ BLOC

Many a home turf now stands transformed into a battleground of pro-PUBG majorities versus non-PUBG minorities. Here’re some pro-PUBG species spawned by the hot game that are putting in a pickle many a maternal or married dame.

In a pre-PUBG world, maternal summons to progeny pronto elicited a polite “haan ji”. Alas, in a universe post-PUBG, motherly supplications merely invite impolite grunts ‘n’ growls on the lines of “do not disturb ji.”

The curtailed civility of this tribe of teenaged offspring to maternal summons in a post-PUBG world is akin to ‘Tom’ the iconic cat seeming somewhat snappish were a nosey ‘n’ noisey ostrich to come and squeak at the window just when the feline is staging a battle royale hunting down ‘Jerry’ in its inner sanctum sanctorum.

A curious case of mummy ji losing the battle to PUBG.

OF PUBG & PUBS

This is a species not only on the pro-PUBG side of the divide but also facing further divide. That is, between two missions to whom the tribe owes ardent allegiance: PUBG and ‘pub ji’.

In a post-WhatsApp world, this spousal tribe’s contribution to polite dinner-time conversation has been more in its dearth than in terms of mirth, but now its “civil” code is seen diminishing even faster than the dipping rupee rate as this species is torn only between dividing time on pubbing with cronies and PUBG-ing with sonnies.

Enterprising as this spousal species is, it’s devised ingenious ways so as not to be divided between the hottest new “pub”-isms driving its existence. This is achieved by clubbing, the time to be devoted to pubg-ing and pubbing. Pronto, PUBG goes rolling into neighbouring households of cronies boasting ‘n’ hosting in-house versions of ‘pub ji’.

And in this clubbing of PUBG-ing and pubbing, if better halves nurture hope of polite living room conversation flowing forth, the hope is as misplaced as a guest speaker’s optimism of being heard or getting in a word into the din ‘n’ decibel-ism that drive an Arnab Goswami debate.

A curious case of better halves not being able to establish ‘eye contact’ and ‘i’ contact with partners due to this new souten “G” ruling their iPhones.

chetnabanerjee@gmail.com

First Published: Sep 16, 2018 13:59 IST