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Don’t jump to conclusions

Relationships can be tricky sometimes people hurt you and sotimes they are unreasonable. If your partener continues to beunreasonable, just let go of them, says Candice Pinto.

health and fitness Updated: May 03, 2010 15:59 IST
Candice Pinto
Candice Pinto
Hindustan Times

I’m a 16-year-old girl having a crush on an 18-year-old-boy. We are good friends and he studies in a hostel. We rarely meet each other and I don’t have his contact details. I don’t even know if he likes me. What should I do?
The next time you see him, just go and introduce yourself to him. There is no point in waiting and torturing yourself. Maybe a few meetings down the line, you could exchange phone numbers or email ids and see where it goes. But I would suggest that you don’t make it too obvious that you’re into him and take it easy.

I am 15. I have a girlfriend whose acts have ruined my vacations. When our relationship started about three months ago, she used to be very romantic and looked very interested in me. But her two guy best friends who were also my classmates didn’t like this and tried to separate us. Still, she was very supportive and determined, she actually fought with them for me. Now since our board exams have gotten over, she a different person. She flirts online with a lot of guys including that guy best friend of hers. I tried to tell her that this hurts me a lot but to my surprise she said that she will continue this for as long as she wants. She talks about her guy friends all the time. This freaks me out. My girlfriend is a people’s person while I am the reserved sort. I think I should break-up but I love her a lot. What should I do? Please help.
Don’t jump to conclusions. Avoid taking hasty decisions. You need to use your head right now. Stop reacting to her behaviour and just ignore whatever she's doing. Do it for a while and let her know that her behaviour is not bothering you. If that doesn’t work then you need to ask her as to if she wants to continue this relationship or if she has taken a liking to some other person. The solution is simple, really. If she continues this unreasonable behaviour, just let go of her!I

I want my relationship with my boyfriend to be stronger. I am 16. We are in a relationship since a month now. He is very depressed owing to some personal problems at the moment. Sometimes, I don’t know how to console him and I get frustrated a lot with his attitude. I love him a lot and am sure he loves me too. But there are times when we are not able tocommunicate our feelings to each other properly. This is my first relationship and I really want to keep it healthy. But the problem is our thoughts and approaches to different situations don’t match at all. He had a girlfriend earlier so he knows more about relationships than me. His peers ignore him in school. The reason is that he is very handsome, so many girls flirt with him and the guys dislike him for that.
You are just 16 and if things continue like this, I suspect you will go into depression as well. You need to ask yourself what you want and if you keep thinking only about what he thinks or feels or does, this relationship will head nowhere. Think about yourself first and only then can you think about this relationship. If you'll love each other so much then talk to your guy and make sure you tell him how you feel about him and the way he behaves with you. It’s normal to think differently. You'll just need to work this out between yourselves.

Hi, I am a 21-year-old guy. I like a girl who lives close to my home. I would see her sit in her shop while going to my friends place. Unfortunately, we don’t have any common friends and I made the mistake of sending her a friend request on Facebook along with a message that I would like to meet her, two months ago. But she ignored it and now her shop has been shut down for good. I like her a lot as it was like love-at-first-sight. Please help me before it gets too late.
Well, keep trying to get in touch with her again but ask her how is she and that you are worried as to where she is. Or get hold of her email id and message her the same thing. Maybe, she will reply.

First Published: May 03, 2010 15:56 IST