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‘Keep distance from her’

It’s that age when you are a bit confused, says Candice Pinto.

india Updated: Apr 12, 2010 18:40 IST
Candice Pinto
Candice Pinto
Hindustan Times

I am an MBA student and madly in love with a girl who is my classmate. We happened to be good friends initially, but gradually I fell for her. I learnt that she has a boyfriend and she is in a long- distance relationship with him. They are deeply in love with each other. The guy belongs to a different caste. I told her about my feelings despite knowing all of this. She said that she’s already in a relationship and assured that our friendship wouldn’t be affected by this. I tried to get over my feelings for her, but I was completely into her. I decided not to express my feelings to her anymore. However, since the past few months, she’s been behaving weirdly and doesn't talk to me properly. I feel that she is going away from me. I have tried to ask her if anything is wrong but she keeps saying everything is fine. Now I feel that I have made a big mistake by letting her know about my feelings for her. What should I do? My friend tells me to be optimistic, but I don’t see any hope. I just can’t forget her. I care a lot for her but she is least bothered. I have started hating myself for falling in love with such an insensitive person. Please help.
The fact that she knows how you feel about her has made her conscious about your feelings for her. It’s natural for her to behave like this. I suggest you give her space and keep a little distance from her; she will be fine. If she is acting weird, then let her be. The more you try and ask her things, the more she will get away from you. Don’t get worked up and behave normally.

I’m 16 years old. I like a girl from my class. She looks back at me when I look at her. The class is only once in a week. I want to talk to her. What do I do?
Rather than spending so much time thinking and wondering what to do, I suggest you go and speak to her. You have nothing to lose, do you? But don’t go overboard the first time you speak to her.

I’m a 17-year-old boy. I loved a girl who lived in the same area as I do. I proposed to her and she accepted it. It went well until she got a chance to act in a serial. She started neglecting me. When I asked her, she said that she can’t concentrate on several things at one time. But one fine day, she called me up and said that she cannot continue, as she was in a relationship with her co-actor. She wanted to remain friends with me. But I still love her and since we live in the same neighbourhood, we often meet each other. I came to know recently that she broke up with her co-actor a month ago. I still love her very much and can do anything for her. I want her back in my life, but don’t know how to take the next step. Please help.
Speak to her again and tell her how you feel and that you still love her. If her answer is negative, then you need to realise that she isn’t interested in you anymore, you need to move on. You can’t keep waiting for her to come to you. She has made her situation quite clear. I think she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.

I’m a 16-year-old boy. I think I’m bisexual because I feel I am attracted to boys, more than girls. When I am not masturbating, I think of girls. But when I do, I just think of guys. This feeling is getting stronger with each passing day. I feel the urge to get intimate with guys. I can’t concentrate on my studies. Please help.
You are just 16. I suggest you excite yourself thinking of whoever you would love to think of to release yourself. The question is if you are bisexual or not. Give yourself a few more years to decide your sexual orientation. It’s normal to think of a woman or a man. It’s that age when you are a bit confused and can get carried away with things that excite you, so don’t ponder too much on which sex excites you. Rather, enjoy it and with time decide.

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Candice Pinto at:

First Published: Apr 12, 2010 15:23 IST