No respect please

Since the elections earlier this month, the buzzword of politics has been 'respect', writes Vijay Dutt.

Since the general elections earlier this month the buzzword of British politics has been "respect". Prime Minister Tony Blair, perhaps hoping it will promote good behaviour among his serially rebellious party MPs, has been talking up reforms designed to spread respect in society. It probably doesn't help that George Galloway, loud-mouthed ex-Labour MP and thorn in Blair's side, has named his oneman political grouping the Respect Party. But Blair is probably right to believe that an epidemic of loutish behaviour may prove more ruinous to his reputation than Iraq.

Yob plague

Britain is overrun with an infestation of yobs. Normally on two legs, but sometimes found on all fours, yobs are generally beer-filled and beyond parental control. British police declaim before television cameras that yobs are "feral by nature." Feral comes from the Latin fera, a wild beast. Applying it to yobs is intended to convey the nature of their mindless hostility and menace. But it probably gives animals a bad name.

Blair and his home secretary admit they are in deep trouble because of the rise of yob culture. The home secretary conceded people are "unsure, uncertain" and afraid to venture out even in daytime. If an election were held now, say the pundits, the yob plague would probably guarantee a Labour thrashing.

Not a day passes without some decent family man being set upon by rowdy, foul-mouthed bullies. Mud was tossed at a cortege about to enter a cemetery. A girl was slapped about so some yobs could catch it on their cellphone cameras. Another man was attacked when he asked two male youths and a girl to close the gate of his brother's cottage, which the yobs had opened for a lark.

The victim, the father of four young children, is still in hospital. The problem: No fear of the law or being in jail, no respect for their elders and a subculture that hero worships uncivil be haviour. The book for the times: A Clockwork Orange.

Feral rebels

Blair's first attempt to "restore respect in society" has become dubbed the Vicky Pollard Law -- after the foul-mouthed Little Britain character -- will be unveiled this summer. The proposals will have the added advantage of hopefully putting his in-party detractors on the back foot at the Labour Party's annual conference in September or early October.
The party rebels aren't yobs but they seem strange political animals. Many seem willing to send their own party back to the opposition benches if it means the end of Blair. This attitude would seem to suit Chancellor Gordon Brown, the anointed almost-successor.

But the left-wingers have as little respect for Brown as they do for Blair. Time for a Vicky Pollard law for Labour mavericks, say the wags. Blair is preparing a raft of legacy bills -rumour is that Brown has given him only 18 months in office.

Bowles over

The new Duchess of Cornwall is trying to drill some respect for marital ties into her royal husband, Prince Charles. Her friends say she was "irritated" that Charles went on his annual retreat in Greece, where he communes with the monks of Mount Athos. Camilla felt it inappropriate that right after their honeymoon, her husband would leave her tending the house while he went off to spend time with a bunch of celibate males.

Last heard, a royal compromise had been struck. While Charles went on his retreat, she and two of her friends are now expected to have a holiday in Greece at his expense. The company of clerics doesn't come cheaply.

Veg voyeur

Sex sells, and the Vegetarian Society knows this fact as well as any. The society has launched a suggestive, wink-wink ad campaign to shed its image of being the lifestyle index of bearded, sandal-wearing types.

The ads pose the question: " Can You Keep it Up For A Week?" The idea being to make testosterone-charged challenge to men to try and shun dead animals on their plate for seven days. Cinema houses have already decided to can it.