'Penile artist' sizzles at 10th Sydney Sexpo
The 10th anniversary Sydney Sexpo opened Thursday with what has to be a world first - an on-the-spot portrait by a "penile artist" of a "genital origamist".
Artist Tim Patch, who prefers to be known as Pricasso, uses his penis as a brush to execute surprisingly good portraits in acrylic paint.
His subject, Justin Morley who goes by the professional name Alan Length, uses his penis as a puppet, creating everything from hamburgers and windsurfers to the Loch Ness Monster and the Eiffel Tower.
They were the starring acts as the four-day Sydney Sexpo got underway at the former site of the agricultural Royal Easter Show, with a record crowd of more than 55,000 expected to tour the vast halls.
Stands offer an extensive range of sex toys, specialist lingerie, aphrodisiacs, breast and penis enlargement, and bad puns.
Morley, 33, has been in the business for some time, having achieved international renown alongside his brother when they toured the United States in 2001 with their "Puppetry of the Penis" show.
Pricasso, however, is a neophyte in the world of penile art, having taken it up on a dare from a woman friend at a party last New Years' Eve.
A father of four who studied furniture design when he failed to get into a fine arts course and then spent most of his life as a builder, he now paints portraits for about $300 dollars ($200 , with a Sexpo special price of just $75.
He is a modest, almost shy man, whose efforts to embrace a showbiz persona extend to saying he believes he is the world's only penile artist, but if not, he's "certainly the greatest".
"I still do a bit of building to subsidise my meagre income as a struggling artist," he told AFP, adding that his eldest son thought he had a "fantastic job".
Pricasso's budding showmanship also extends to his outfit, all in silver -- a top hat, a long "flasher-type" coat with trouser legs which start at the ankles and end at the knees, and nothing else.
"I was embarrassed to start with," he said before stripping off the coat to paint Alan Length, fully dressed in cape and bare legs. "It sounds really weird but if you see it being done it doesn't look too bad."
He's right on both counts. With show organisers, journalists and scantily-clad women milling around at the media preview, his naked brushwork, using a palette on a low stand and holding the canvas in his hand, soon seems weird but not too bad.
So what did the trail-blazing penile puppeteer Alan Length think of his portrait by the newcomer to the artistic potential of the penis?
"Not bad, considering he did it in 10 minutes," he said, with perhaps a trace of penis envy.
Morley, makes a living from penis puppetry -- which he calls "dick tricks" -- offering performances at women's "hen's nights" and at sports club fundraisers.
What does his girlfriend think of his job? "When I leave she says 'Good luck with the show, don't let them touch'."
And do the women try to touch? "No, it doesn't turn them on, they just can't believe the shapes I can make."
As for the tools of their trade, the men say they have no problems dipping them in paint -- "acrylic comes off with water" -- or bending them into odd contortions -- "the doctor says I'm fine".
And neither is a braggart. Pricasso says he is proof there is no need to be well-endowed and admits that "probably most men could do an abstract", while Alan Length's publicity material warns that "shows might be slightly shorter in winter."