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Wednesday, Oct 16, 2019

Revisiting modern-day marriages

As the KANK debate rages on, our surfer insists marriage is here to stay.

india Updated: Aug 22, 2006 16:43 IST
Shanjoy Mairembam
Shanjoy Mairembam

Social relationships and interpersonal relationships between men and women of today are changing fast as scientific thought and social advances are changing the way we perceive things. Days "when women have to confine themselves to the household with men taking the dominant role in social relations" are passe.

Due to the emergence of liberal societies, many women are seen holding good positions in many institutions and taking a responsible status, at par with men.

But, any changes in the social interpersonal relations have to be dealt with care and we should understand the possible impacts. One such case study is about the institution of marriage. The status of Indian women is beginning to grow and is getting on par with that of men.

Though news stories of dowry deaths, torture of married women by in-laws, poor treatment of girls with respect to men, etc at times aren't uncommon; we do begin to hear the news of many powerful women emerging in our societies.

Girls living in cities are more liberal and have realised self-dignity. Many of them are now working and earning well. They are as ambitious as men can get. They don't like to compromise in jobs and on personal freedom for the sake of getting married. They now prefer to be single rather than getting into troubled marriages, because of the ability to earn and lead a secured life single-handedly with complete personal freedom.

They wish to wait till they find a life partner who will understand their need for dignity, career and personal space. We see many single and well-qualified girls in the age group of 27-35 years in cities. The number of such well-qualified singletons is increasing by the day.

Though we can feel the improving living standard of girls on par with men in our societies, ours is still a male-dominant society. Even though most of our men are educated, they still allow their parents (both literate and illiterate) and family members to continue the customs like dowry and other family rules to force women to suffer physically and targetting their personal aspirations at the time of marriage.

This is indeed bad. There seems to be no moral learning to their education. Only a change in mentality of some men and their families won't affect a change in society.

Somehow the change needs to start somewhere to allow the quantum change in the social interpersonal relations between the sexes. Its time for academically well qualified men to understand that they are the masters of today's generation and will influence the future.

The future course of social relations between the sexes depends on them. Every man has to understand the simple principle that women too are human beings like them who have similar feelings. Social norms and regulations should not be partial towards them. If any such conditions are prevalent in today's world, men need to take the lead to make a change to allow women to breathe in the fresh air.

Women have begin to lose confidence in the institution of 'marriage' due to the fear of compromise on their freedom and personal aspirations.

But such trends are not ideal. There needs to be a balance between aspirations and the family values (about the institution like marriage) by both sexes.

But, losing faith on an institution like marriage will give a negative effect on the concept of family, issues of bringing up children, etc. Human society is different from other creatures on the ground. Humans have strong bondings of love between parents and their children. Strange it may sound but with marriage comes a certain responsibility.

Bangalore-based Shanjoy Mairembam can be contacted

All views and opinions presented in this article are solely those of the surfer and do not necessarily represent those of

First Published: Aug 22, 2006 15:18 IST

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