Scotch wit

An intellectual giant who stood six feet eight inches tall, taught Economics at Harvard University, served as ambassador and was a member of think-tanks under US presidents, would be expected to be a serious person.

An intellectual giant who stood six feet eight inches tall, taught Economics at Harvard University, served as ambassador and was a member of think-tanks under US presidents, would be expected to be a serious person. But not so John Kenneth Galbraith, former US envoy to India, who died on Sunday at the age of 97. In his book Ambassador’s Journal he wondered why most women in underdeveloped nations had overdeveloped bosoms.

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Galbraith was a Scotch-Canadian and proud of it. He recounted his early days in The Scotch, a book meant to please the author and not the people. But it had the typical Galbraith touch, brilliant wit and humour and full of whimsical nostalgia. He recounts that first names like John, Jim, Malcolm and Dan abound among his fellow men. But there was no confusion. Because there were Big Johns and Little Johns, some Black Johns and regrettably there was a Lame John, a Dirty John and a Bald John.

While some Scotch Canadians believed in large families, others pondered over the question whether a wife was really economically essential. The moral code was strict in the community, and to father an illegitimate child was to be an outcast. An adventurous Macullum boy who was courting one of two sisters would sneak into the girls’ bedroom. Once, to avoid a suspicious father, the young man hid himself between the two sisters under the sheets and by mistake got the wrong sister pregnant. Of course, he did marry her but his standing in the clan went down, explains Galbraith.

Courtships and illicit affairs were difficult in the community because of the lack of suitable meeting places. Even normal endearments sounded out of place when most men referred to their wives as ‘my auld woman’ or ‘my auld lady’ A swain could not take his girl to the barn because that would make his intentions clear. The region was bitterly cold for most of the year and undressing fully was difficult. With passion sidelined, the main focus was on earning money. The Scotch worshipped money for its own sake. They earned it and did not spend it wastefully. As Galbraith explains, the Scotch agreed with Dr Johnson’s views, “A man, who keeps his money, has in reality, more use for it, than he can have by spending it.”

The community was heavily dependent on farming. Tapping maple trees for syrup was a major event. A team of two Scotch found that commercially produced syrup lacked the flavour and switched back to the traditional method. The syrup was kept in open tubs which attracted falling leaves, moths, a couple of field mice and their droppings. When this concoction was boiled, the original flavour was restored.

This humour was the essence of Galbraith’s life. The Scotch is an unalloyed delight. It has the flavour of the traditional maple syrup.