The Royal Wedding

Diana, even in her death, would remain the third person, in Charles and Camilla's married life, writes Vijay Dutt.

The stories and revelations, no doubt blended with rumours, gossip and speculations, following the announcement of the wedding plans of Prince Charles with Camilla Parker Bowles, remind me of the booklets which I am told were being sold on Marine Drive in Mumbai by young vendors shouting

At that time the speculation was rife that the two were in love and were to marry. We all know it did not happen. Just two months ago Dev Anand told me that yes he was in love with her but her family brought up religious issues, which was his polite way of saying that the family probably wanted him to convert.

The saga of Charles and Camilla is worth far more than chaar anne. For one it has been on, except for short interludes, for almost 34 years. Secondly he is the future king of England and thirdly there is Diana, who whether she wanted or not, haunts through her friends and vast number of her admirers among the subjects of the Queen.

The entrepreneurs have already floated enterprises to make some profits. One has registered a website, CharlesandCamilla.com and is offering it for £10000. Bookmakers have opened up bets, like on what colour of the wedding dress would be. One bookmaker has offered at 1000 to 1 that Camilla would prepare a video before her wedding on how to be fit on the wedding day.

A jeweller came out with the imitation of the half a million pound worth engagement ring that Charles gave to Camilla and is offering it for £265. But the American-owned superstore chain Asda is now offering the imitation for just £19. One wonders what else is likely to be imitated or innovated and sold before April 8 when the two are to get married at a civil ceremony to be held at Windsor Castle.

Solicitors have also been active, no doubt getting famous if not richer, by opining on the legality of even the civil ceremony. Some claim a Royal cannot marry under the Civil Marriages Act. The Palace has declined to accept their unsolicited views.

The pollsters have been having a great time too. Almost every day some or the other poll is being conducted. The conclusions have befuddled everyone, including me. Most okay the wedding but want Charles to opt out and let his son become the king, whenever the succession takes place. Others predict that Charles would be waiting for the opposition to ebb and then make Camilla the Queen when he ascends the throne. Now one has pointed out that Williams has done nothing so far to prove he could be worthy of being a king.

In the whole mess, the best thing I have discovered is to look at the surfeit of cartoons that reflect on the happy couple. The best so far was one in which Camilla while standing close to Charles was lamenting about feeling crowded. A picture of Diana was shown hanging from the wall, just between them. The cartoon reminded everyone of Diana telling during her famous interview on BBC Panorama, that was watched by over 222 million people, that there were three in her marriage and thus it was a bit crowded.

I suspect that Diana, even in her death, would remain the third person, in Charles and Camilla's married life. It is impossible to exorcise her spirit, even through Royal acts.

An astonishing ban

I did not believe it when some one rang up to give me the news. But then I read it in the Sun. In an exclusive report it said the Queen has banned Charles from sleeping with Camilla on the night before marriage on April 8. This was indeed surprising, why ban what we all presume they have been doing for over three decades.

But even more amazing was what the report further said. According to it, the two argued with the Queen that everyone did know they were together for a long time, so why the banning order. Frankly no one I suppose cares a damn what they do or not do on the eve of their wedding. The Queen is possibly being old-fashioned. She might have religious thoughts as well. But, then why the argument? After all the two are not in their first flush of youth, Charles is 55 and Camilla 57.

But then there is another side of the story, related by Camilla's biographer. In an excerpt published in the Mail, the biographer alleged that on the eve of his wedding to Diana, Charles went to bed with Camilla. He vowed it would be the last time. Apparently he could not keep it. Why then bother with more bans? They are grown up people; they know best what would help their marriage keep the spectre of Diana out. Possibly they should try an Indian tantrik. The biographer has said many (people) wish them well, but others can't forget the past. This sounds ominous!

Viva Valentine

Well the V-Day has gone. I did not hear of any weddings solemnised on the London's Eye or on board a jet flying at 3500 feet. But according to reports, £40 million were spent in the UK on flowers, and over 15 million cards were sent. Over 100,000 text messages were exchanged. Yet many scholars say that Valentine was in all probability a celibate. Many doubt if he ever existed. This is why this time the restaurants were not over-booked and more debates on whether it is a day when romance acquires any significant halo. Many feel it is as good a day as any to love, fall out of love or make up. The expectations on that day lead to more break-ups than cementing of relationships.

I bet florists and the greeting cards industry would have to devise new strategies to mass-market Valentine's Day. At least in the west, it is becoming a bit jaded. Many singletons, and their number is increasing, are now saying " My time's my own, and that's a luxury." Such luxury would be anathema to the promoters of V-Day.