E-Paper
There?s a catch
A top level meeting at the BCCI office in Mumbai, between Pawar, Chappell, More and Dungarpur, may have gone like this.., writes V Gangadhar.
A top level meeting at the BCCI office in Mumbai. Those present: Sharad Pawar, Greg Chappell, Kiran More and Raj Singh Dungarpur.
Pawar: Thrashed by a third rate England team! We have become the laughing stock of the nation. It’s time we get Sourav Ganguly back.
Chappell: But Mr Pawar, how can that be possible? He is out for good.
More: I have been telling people that as long as I’m alive, Sourav cannot be in the Indian team!
Pawar: Then you better die fast! Look, I want Sourav not in the team but as a fielding coach.
Dungarpur: Sharadbhai, the stress is telling. Why don’t you take it easy for a few days?
Pawar: I am perfectly okay. Look, the team fielding has become atrocious.... They are a bunch of butter-fingered buffoons. How many catches did they drop at Nagpur and Mumbai? One dozen, two dozen?
Chappell: Well, these things do happen. You know, the glorious uncertainties of cricket.
Pawar: You are the worst uncertainty. You have been yelling from rooftops that this would be the best fielding combination available and that Sourav had been dropped because he could not field. You held up Yuvraj as an example and he dropped more catches in Mumbai than the number of times a baby drops a thimble!
Chappell: The truth is I’m allergic to Sourav.
Pawar: Then why don’t you think up of some under-arm tactics to take care of your allergy. I want Sourav as the fielding coach and that’s that.
Dungarpur: But Sharadbhai, what about the team morale?
Pawar: Morale? At slip position, Dravid has slipped up too many times. Is Dhoni a wicket keeper or a Catch 22? Kumble can neither bend nor catch a ball. Sehwag and Munaf move like hippos. What a fielding combination! This is all due to Greg and More. I’ll sack both of you!
Chappell: In that case, I have to go back and coach the South Australian Under-5.
Pawar: I am not concerned with that. But you have let me down badly with your tall claims. Come to think of it, you too can attend Sourav’s coaching sessions. Perhaps, you can learn a thing
