Want a perfect mate? Follow tips
If you?ve made an all-out effort to find your match with little success, maybe it?s time to rethink your approach.Updated: Jan 25, 2007 14:41 IST
Relationships don’t always work, and there are enough complications when a man and a woman come together. If you’ve made an all-out effort to find your match with little success, maybe it’s time to rethink your approach towards searching for true love.
Here you’ll find five common mistakes women make in the dating game.
1. If you think you will never find true love, you never will. Disappointing relationships can be a lead to questioning yourself — questions like ‘Is there something wrong with me?’ Or ‘Am I a bad person?’ can haunt you.
It’s important to understand that there’s nothing wrong with you. You have to believe in that, come what may. Else, it can lead to poor self-esteem. Be optimistic. Banish thoughts like, “I will never find love”. Instead, say, “I’m cool and I’m bound to find love”.
Writing helps too. Keep a diary. Giving vent to pent up negativity will help you feel lighter. And, perhaps, help you think clearer.
2. Kick the bad-boy habit. Good guys are all around you. All you need to do is look. “I was going around with a boy who was eight years elder to me. Initially, everything was fine and then he started taking me for granted, and for a ride. I gave him everything. In return I got nothing,” says a 33-year-old woman. If you too share a similar sentiment, it’s time to kick the bad-boy habit.
3. Remember: Love is not a synonym for leash. Wanting your partner to be around you all the time is not a realistic approach to a relationship. Learn to let go. Learn to give space to each other.
The more your lives are different in terms of friends, jobs and hobbies, more the chances of you having a fun time together.
4. Emotional infidelity is a strict no-no. Sharing your thoughts with friends and co-workers all the time doesn’t really help the cause of bonding. Don’t share all your personal details about your partner with your friends. It amounts to disloyalty.
5.You’re not always right. The sooner you recognise this, the better you will be at managing your relationship.
You will not earn brownie points if you stand your ground all the time. In fact, if you give in or stand down from an argument, you may earn the respect and love of your partner.
First Published: Jan 24, 2007 18:37 IST