Why do we feel guilty for resting even when we’re exhausted? A psychotherapist explains the need to keep going

Exhausted but unable to switch off? A psychotherapist and life coach reveals why slowing down can feel uncomfortable.

In this hustle culture era, resting or slowing down feels like ditching. However, it’s the need of the hour, considering the mental and emotional breakdowns happening every now and then amongst the most successful professionals. In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Dr Chandni Tugnait, renowned psychotherapist, life coach, healer, and founder and director of Gateway of Healing, explains why we struggle to pause.

Dr Chandni highlighted that there's a contradiction that is present in modern workplaces, where people are running on empty, surviving on minimal sleep and maximum caffeine, and yet, instead of pausing, they keep accelerating. This happens because burnout gets treated as a personal failure to optimise better, not as a signal that something is breaking apart. The truth is simpler and harder to admit: the system rewards presence over performance, and visibility over actual output.

Companies quietly shifted from measuring what people finish to measuring how available they look. Stay online until 9 pm, and you're ‘committed.’ But if you wrap up your work in six focused hours and leave, then it’s seen as suspicious that you are not focused. “Nobody says this out loud, but everyone knows it, and when your job security depends on looking indispensable rather than being efficient, rest starts to feel like a risk you can't afford,” said Dr Chandni.

Companies quietly shifted from measuring what people finish to measuring how available they look.

● Remote work deleted the off switch

There used to be a door you walked through, at least, between the office and home. That door gave your brain a moment to exhale. Now your laptop sits three feet from your bed, glowing, and your notifications don't know it's Sunday. People check emails during dinner and answer calls on vacation. The line didn't just blur; it disappeared.

● Job insecurity does the rest

According to Dr Chandni, short contracts, sudden layoffs, and promotions that depend on who sacrifices the most personal time- all of it teaches people to prove their worth every single day. Taking a real break brings a wave of guilt, not because rest is wrong, but because somewhere in the back of your mind sits the fear that someone else is working right now, and they'll be the one who gets to keep their job.

Short contracts, sudden layoffs, and promotions that depend on who sacrifices the most personal time.

● Exhaustion turned into a flex

People compare sleep scores like trophies. ‘I only got four hours’ has become a strange kind of bragging, a way of proving you matter enough to be that busy. Admitting you're tired doesn't feel honest anymore; it feels like admitting you're replaceable. “None of this changes through willpower or a better to-do list app. It changes only when organisations stop rewarding the performance of exhaustion and start actually measuring what work gets done,” highlighted Dr Chandni.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always seek the advice of an expert.