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How do we learn what we want and need? Therapist shares tips
From noticing our feelings to being kind and compassionate, here are a few ways by which we can learn our needs and wants.
In a relationship, being aware of our own needs and wants is extremely important to create a healthy space for ourselves and also the partner. When we are completely in knowledge of what we expect, need and want, we know how to handle our own emotions and regulate them better. "We all have needs. The trouble is, many of us never learned how to identify and communicate those needs. This pattern often starts in childhood if our needs are often dismissed by parents and caregivers," wrote Therapist Lucille Shackleton.
"You can learn to tune in to your wants and needs at any age and also to begin communicating them. It just takes practice and a commitment to tune in and listen. It doesn’t mean you need to communicate every emotion, want or need or even that they’re all realistic but as we start to connect and learn more about our emotional world, we are better able to make sense of it and manage it. It’s about gaining insight because that helps us understand ourselves and build our emotional intelligence," she further added. Here are a few ways to learn about our own needs and wants.
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Noticing our feelings: When we start to notice the way we are feeling, we start to become more aware of them, and allow them to happen to us.
Digging deep: We should dig deeper into the emotions and try to unravel past experiences and the reasons that are making us feel the way we are feeling.
Gut instincts: We should never push away the gut instincts – in fact, we should listen to them intently and try to understand what they are trying to tell us.
Responding to our emotions: instead of pushing difficult emotions away, we should respond to them in a healthy manner.
Compassion and kindness: We should learn how to communicate with our emotions, and deal with ourselves with more compassion and kindness.
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